Y’all, I’ve been pooping at Trader Joe’s for years, but yesterday a manager told me to never come back. Funny thing is, I’ve never even shopped there.

I’m an elementary music teacher in my 30s with three kids. My school and Trader Joe’s are in a mixed office/retail complex about half a block away from each other. I’ve been going to Trader Joe’s to use the bathroom maybe once every 2/3 weeks for the past 3 years, but yesterday was the last. One of the managers came out and specifically told me he knew what I was up to, and that I wasn’t allowed back.<br><br><br>I figured I was done with the whole thing, but I wasn’t angry at TJ’s. I just didn’t want to get in trouble with my school or district over pooping at Trader Joe’s. But then I started trolling through the r/nosleep chamber, which reminded me of this post I made here maybe 5 months ago.<br><br>A lot of the comments were along the lines of ‘so, you don’t want to be caught’? ‘why wouldn’t management be mad?’ ‘this is kind of a good thing, since it’s illegal’? ‘I know this is stupid, but I still like having my little secret’. I obviously could have handled my situation better over the years, and I would recommend against this behavior to others. But I’ve been getting some flak for not being angsty enough. So, I’m going to address a few points but let’s get the obvious out of the way: if I was a crazy person and made a mess, management could be mad. But I’ve just pooped, washed up, and left. I’ve never been stoned or drunk. If I was a paying customer, I’d be fine with that level of bathroom use.<br><br>My school doesn’t have bathrooms for students or staff. There are no public bathrooms in the area, except for a mall that’s a 15 minute drive at rush hour. I had hoped that my school would build its own bathroom, but that never happened. So, I just made an effort to do it at Trader Joe’s. I always knew I was a little bit breaking the rules, but I was also becoming a mom of three in my 30s. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong, just taking care of myself. Almost like I wasn’t afraid to raise a hand in class, or to ask for a raise at work. I just did it.<br><br>However, after the manager told me to stay away, I wondered if I should have had a problem with this. Should I have been worried about pooping? Should I have just let the manager have their way and kicked me out sooner? In fact, this idea of worrying about the rules really got to me. I started challenging it, questioning what I thought was normal or acceptable. But the more I thought about it, the less sense it made. It seemed like I was always afraid to do this. I was like a teacher who asks students if they could handle a little bit of responsibility, but in reality, the ones who are most likely to take on that responsibility are the ones taking care of their own needs.<br><br>Of course this is all just my own perception, and taking care of your own needs doesn’t mean breaking the rules. But for me, it really felt like I was trying to avoid any confrontation. I was afraid to ask for a raise at work, I was afraid to ask for a bathroom at Trader Joe’s.<br><br>I think it just went to show that I had grown and changed. But the reality of my life as a mom has changed so much too. My kids are older now, and I don’t need to go to Trader Joe’s anymore. I have a very happy and fulfilling life as a mom, and I don’t need to poop at my school or at Trader Joe’s. But also, I guess I don’t need to poop at Trader Joe’s anymore. It kind of feels like the first part of my life is ending, and I don’t need to be afraid of getting in trouble. I’m not worried about what other people think. I just want to be happy, and I think that’s more than just not having something to worry about.<br><br><br>Edit: some people are asking why not ask the school to build a bathroom. It’s a long story, but I did ask. My principal also asked. So did the parents. But it’s not something that the district is willing to do.