My wife is buying a house with her parents' money. Everything is fine, right?

Got married two months ago at 29F. My wife (31F) was my long-time girlfriend. We live in the Northeastern US. We both are in tech and doing reasonably well. I am at 400K, and she makes a third of that (120K). We have a small child.<br><br>Our relationship is going well except for one thing: her parents (50s), who are fairly wealthy (5M+), frequently bail us out financially. They will spend thousands per month on us for reasons I don't understand. They pay for all our trips, all our groceries, all our dining out, and more. They were paying our entire mortgage until we moved. I do not like this, and my wife is fine with it.<br><br>Last year, we bought a large house in a great neighborhood. Against my wishes, her parents helped us with the down-payment (80K). The house is in my wife's name. Without their money, we wouldn't have qualified for the mortgage. I was against accepting their money. My wife insisted it was fine, that they were happy to help, and that we could otherwise not afford the house we wanted.<br><br>We moved into the house, which is great for our kid and also costs a lot to maintain. Property tax (10K/yr), HOA (2K/yr), and heating the house is expensive (~6K/yr). With my wife's parents' help, we manage.<br><br>The problems started when we wanted to refinance the house to get a better interest rate. The bank told us that the mortgage was in my wife's name, and that I had no ownership or liability. I insisted on being added to the mortgage, which would mean we would need to re-qualify for it. My wife said that would be impossible since we wouldn't qualify without her parents' help. She suggested instead that we simply keep the mortgage in her name and that I just promise not to leave her, and that we open a shared bank account. I refused, saying that that arrangement would be unfair to me in case of a divorce.<br><br>My wife's parents got involved, saying that they would help with the mortgage payments until we qualified for a new mortgage. They said they would make the payments in my wife's name and add my name to the mortgage later. I refused, which resulted in a huge fight with my wife. She yelled at me, saying that I was being ungrateful and controlling, that I didn't deserve to live in such a nice house, that her parents were happy to help, and that everything would be fine.<br><br>In the end, I caved. There was too much pressure, and it felt like my entire family was against me.<br><br>Fast forward a few months. Her parents have been making most of the payments for the house. My wife has been talking about a bigger house, and her parents have been looking at houses with her. They found a great one in a better neighborhood not too far away. The new house is more expensive (500K more), but we could supposedly afford it because it would be closer to her parents, and they could watch the kid more.<br><br>I am horrified and starting to regret the decision to let them help in the first place. My wife could not afford the new house without her parents' help. They would need to cover a significant part of the down payment, and we would still not qualify for the mortgage. My wife insists that this is fine and that we would be happy in the new house. She said we could always get a new mortgage once we had built up more equity. That could take years, and there is no guarantee we would qualify even then.<br><br>This feels like a never-ending nightmare. The more we depend on my wife's parents, the more financial insecurity I feel. We are now living above our means and cannot afford our house.<br><br>For background, her parents made their money in tech and inherited quite a lot on top of that. They grew up wealthy. They never had to worry about money and do not seem to understand why I am worried about their money. My wife grew up with a lot and does not see the problem either.<br><br>I am at my wits' end. I feel powerless because they are all against me. How do I explain to them that their "help" is not help at all? How can I make them see that their actions are creating financial insecurity for me and our child? I don't know what to do. I want to just move out and start over, but I don't know if I can afford to take care of our child alone. I am considering a divorce, but that would be a last resort. I am still in love with my wife, but I feel trapped and resentful.<br><br>I would greatly appreciate any advice on how to approach this situation.<br><br>Edit: I'm blown away by the number of comments this has received. I'm not a financial advisor. I will not be answering any questions about the details, and our finances are private.<br><br>This is not investment advice. Do your own research and be careful out there.<br><br>**TL;DR:** My wife is buying a house with her parents' money. Everything is fine, right?