I (28F) have never been able to focus on anything for more than 30 minutes at a time, no matter how hard I try (long, may be TMI)

I'm an internist and family medicine doctor working 1 day a week in the clinic and the other days doing research with our group at a big university hospital. I've always been very interested and passionate about the work I do, whether it's seeing patients or doing research, so that's not the issue. I'm also not burnt out, because I have a lot of free time, and only work part time. I always have energy, and I never feel tired or like I need a nap. I also don't have any diagnosed ADHD, and I've never been to therapy.<br><br>The problem for me is that no matter what I do, where I am, how hard I try, I only ever manage to focus for 30 minutes to 1 hour at a time. After 30-60 minutes, I start to feel a bit stressed and it gets significantly harder to focus. Giving myself small breaks doesn't help, because after 30 minutes of focusing on something, even going for a short walk doesn't help me regain my ability to focus. Even if I get up from my chair, walk around for 5-10 minutes, I still can't focus for more than 5 minutes when I sit back down. I only manage to regain my ability to focus after at least 2-3 hours have passed since I last tried focusing on something. For example, if I try to focus on something from 10am-10:30am, I won't be able to focus freely on anything until at least 1pm.<br><br>Neither my patients nor my colleagues know about my problem, because when I'm seeing patients I somehow manage to focus more or less as well as anyone else. I sit through the whole appointment, listen to everything they have to say, I don't send patients away after only 30 minutes, and I answer all of their questions. It's like my brain knows I have a responsibility, and it doesn't fail me. With my colleagues, it's the same, I manage to listen to them, participate in discussions, answer questions, etc. But then when I sit down to do paperwork/documents, I just can't focus.<br><br>Right now, I'm having a particularly hard time getting anything done at work because we're collecting data for a clinical trial and it's a lot of busy, monotonous work. Either me or one of my colleagues has to go through the files of 300+ patients, categorize them, exclude patients who don't fit the study criteria, create folders for the patients who fit the study criteria, print certain documents, write certain patient data in certain places, sign the documents, scan the signed documents, send them by email to the patient, etc etc. It's a huge amount of work, and my colleagues manage to do it without a problem. Every day, they spend at least 5-8 hours doing this work alone, and they take maybe 2 breaks of 15 minutes each. They also always finish their work on time and are always punctual to our meetings and to clinic hours. I, on the other hand, spend at least 8 hours a day, take lots of breaks, and get very little done. I get to work earlier than my colleagues, stay later, and still don't manage to get as much done as they do in a day. I've tried listening to music, nature sounds, having a coffee machine nearby so that I don't have to get up to get coffee, having snacks nearby, doing this work in different rooms, having a fan blowing air on me to keep me cool/cold, etc etc. I've also tried having colleagues with me in the same room, so that I don't feel lonely. None of this ever helps me regain the ability to focus.<br><br>I've noticed that this problem gets much worse if I have to do something by myself. If I have colleagues nearby (not necessarily in the same room), I can focus on something for 30-60 minutes, take a 30 minute break to go for a walk, and then I can focus again for 30-60 minutes. But if I'm alone at work, I can only focus on something for 30 minutes to 1 hour, and then I can't focus for 4-6 hours. I can be alone in my office, completely focused on something for 1 hour, and then it hits me like a brick - I can't focus anymore. Sometimes I try to power through the lack of focus, and will sit in my office alone for 8 hours straight, doing the exact same work on the same document, getting absolutely nothing done.<br><br>Like I said before, my lack of focus doesn't matter as much when I'm seeing patients or interacting with colleagues, but now it's a big problem because I need to do this data collection from papers/documents by myself in my office. I'm spending a lot of time everyday trying to get this done, getting almost nothing done, and feeling stressed out of my mind all the time. And it's not even like I'm distracted - I'm sitting alone in a quiet office with no windows that look out onto the street, I don't have any social media tabs open, I don't get any notifications. And yet, I still can't focus on something for more than 30 minutes.<br><br>The only times I can focus freely for more than 30 minutes is when I'm doing something creative, like drawing or painting, or when I'm playing an online game. But this only ever happens when I'm doing these activities by myself and in the comfort of my own home. So, if I'm doing something creative or playing a game with others, I start to lose my ability to focus after 30 minutes-1 hour. But if I'm alone, I can focus freely for 5-6 hours without any breaks.<br><br>My brain is my own worst enemy. It's like I have two personalities inside me: one incredibly productive one, and one incredibly lazy and unproductive one. Sometimes, I'll sit in my office alone, not doing work, and suddenly I'll feel an immense amount of guilt and I'll be like "I'm going to focus right now". And then I proceed to do 8 hours of work in 1 hour. It doesn't make any sense. I'll spend 5 days trying to do a single hour of work and getting nothing done, and then I'll do 8 hours of that same work in 1 hour. I've had this happen to me with exams, assignments, projects, and even stuff around the house. It's like I have no control over what I do and when. When this happens, it's not like I'm hyperfocusing, because I'm still able to talk to people, take breaks, etc, but I just have an unending ability to focus on whatever it is I want to. It feels amazing, but it's unpredictable and I never know when it will happen. Most of the time, it doesn't happen. And even when it happens, it's not like I can focus freely for 8 hours straight, because I still have the 30 minute-1 hour limit. But after the first 30 minutes-1 hour, I don't need to take a 2 hour break before I can focus again. So, in essence, it's like my brain decides that the 30 minute-1 hour rule doesn't apply for a short period of time.<br><br>I understand if this sounds confusing. I don't even understand it, and it's happening to me. I'm posting this on Chambers because I don't know where else to go for help, and I don't know what else to try to make this problem stop. I've tried establishing routines, setting schedules, setting small/realistic goals, etc etc. I've tried going for runs, doing yoga, taking supplements, etc etc. I've tried avoiding the internet, not looking at my phone, etc etc. I feel like I've tried everything, and nothing ever works for me. I also don't know where else to go for help, because I'm an adult, I don't have any diagnosed mental health issues, and I've never been to therapy. I've tried going to therapy twice, but both times I stopped going after a few months because I didn't find it helpful. I feel like I need to go back to therapy, but I'm not sure.<br><br>Has anyone ever heard of anything like this, or has anyone ever experienced this? Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated.