I had to aggressively fake an orgasm to get my husband to stop

My first SO and now husband was not good at sex. I upvoted a comment that said women fake orgasms to end the pain when they have to have sex with a husband that sucks. My first time ever was with him, he just shoved it in me and started pumping, he asked if I was okay and I said I was hurting and he just said he would go faster so it hurt less. It hurt more, and I told him, so he went faster again and I started crying but he poked and prodded at me like he was trying to break something until he came. We tried many times and he got a little better, but it would hurt like crazy to begin with, so one day I decided to fake an orgasm. The very second I did he came and it was finally over. After that, I faked every time because it meant the pain would end sooner. I never told him because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and I was so happy to have an easy way out that I never even thought about asking him to do things differently. When we broke up, I went on to make all new mistakes sexually and I look back and realise that me faking ruined me sexually because I stopped being braver with speaking up. It makes me sad and I feel like I was so so stupid and I’m mad that I didn’t just take my sexuality back sooner.