I don’t know what to do

I’m 24 years old and my boyfriend (27) has been cheating on me. A quick recap of our relationship to understand why it’s messed me up so bad: my mom died 8 months ago and my dad was killed in a car accident 6 months ago. I’m the target here because my now deceased parents were wealthy and wanted to make sure their children would never need to worry about money. (It’s not the same amount of money some of you may be thinking, they were not billionaires but I’m set financially). He got close to me right when my mom passed away and was emotional support. I lost my father 8 weeks ago and I was incredibly lonely. I got pregnant with our baby a couple of weeks ago and was told I was going to miscarry because of a condition I have. A few days ago I lost the baby. I am so depressed and I just want to die.<br><br>The entire time we have been together he has been cheating on me. I confronted him and he agreed that he was cheating. He cried and told me he was sorry. He is buying me gifts and telling me how he wants to work it out. But he is still messaging this other girl telling her that he was just using me for my money. He has moved in with me and uses my credit card to buy her stuff. He is a piece of s**t. <br><br>I want to die. I am so alone and I am scared of people. I am scared to leave him because I don’t know how to be alone. I’m scared of how he will react. If I don’t leave him I will never be happy. I am so untrusting. I feel gross and disgusting. I don’t want to tell my siblings but they are my only family left. I hate every man and I don’t want to ever date again. I just feel so bad and I don’t know what to do.