I want kids, but...

...I would never trust a partner to be a good father. (Stolen from r/relationships)<br><br>***<br><br>I'm a 25F yo and I've always dreamed of being a mom. And I want to be a good one. But I've been disappointed, and seriously hurt, by the people closest to me so I don't trust them to be good fathers. I don't trust them to even be good partners.<br><br>I've been in relationships before where I thought I could see myself having a child with this person, and then I find out something disgusting about them. In one instance, it was that my ex used to grope his friends' girlfriends when they came over and were sleeping or Passed out drunk, because he knew he'd never get called out on it because his friends didn't want their girlfriends to know they were enabling his behavior. I saw him as my best friend, and I thought we could have made great parents together. I thought he was the kindest person I had ever met until a month after we broke up and he told me how he used to act when we first met and I just lost all faith in humanity.<br><br>I don't want to have kids alone, because I don't think it's fair on the kid having to watch their parents relationship develop by themselves, and the fact that I would have to be the primary breadwinner and sole disciplinarian. I don't want that for my child because my brother basically grew up in that situation, but the reverse way. My stepdad was the primary disciplinarian, and as well as being the primary breadwinner. But my brother was mostly raised by my stepfathers mother who lived with us for most of my childhood. My husband would need to be someone I trust completely, and I would have to be able to communicate with.<br><br>I've worked in childcare, raising other peoples kids. I know I'm good with kids. I'm idealistic, and I really want to have the life my mom had growing up, with 3 siblings, a happy home and a big garden. I just can't imagine that life without kids.<br><br>It's really hard for me to trust people though. I am terrified of pregnancy and childbirth, but I feel like I'd be ruining my life if I didn't at least try to be a mum once. I know that makes me sound crazy... But I feel like the clock is ticking and I'm running out of chances to meet a good man. What should I do? <br><br>TLDR: I am desperate for kids. That's all I've ever wanted in life, but I don't trust anyone to be a good father and partner.