Financially Stable Asian Dad

My wife picked up a copy of the book called the Financially Independent Millennial and she lent it to me to read. I read the book in one day. I was inspired and ready to get to work. I told my wife about the book and suggested she read it too so that we could make changes and work together.<br><br>Her response disappointed me. She said that the book was written from the perspective of a young white woman. She said that she was not a millennial and that she was Chinese, not white. She said that the book contained nothing for her.<br><br>Her response was a turn off for me. I thought that there were some good take-aways from the book that we could put into practice. I was so surprised and disappointed that my wife would not read the book because it was written by a white woman.<br><br>After my parents left, I told her that I was disappointed that she would not read the book because it was written for a white audience. She said that she wasn’t going to read the book because she was Chinese and the book was written for a white woman. Then she went on with these statements:<br><br>She said that she grew up in a Chinese immigrant family and that she felt the pressure to make a lot of money. That she never felt like she was good enough for her parents and that as long as she made a lot of money, they would be happy. She said that she hates the way that Chinese people always talk about money and status. She said that she felt so much pressure to be married and to have kids because it was expected. She said that she never felt like her parents loved her for who she was. She said that they only loved her for her grades, her career, and her ability to make money. She said that she was tired of Chinese people judging her. Judging her for her job. Judging her for her lack of a baby. She said that she was tired of being judged for not being a good Chinese daughter.<br><br>I listened to her and told her that I get it. I get how she feels. I grew up in an Asian family and I felt the same way. I felt like my parents didn’t love me for who I am. They only love me for my grades, for making a lot of money. I understand how she feels. <br><br>So then I said that I wanted to be a good husband and a good father. I said that I wanted to break the cycle of hating myself because I am not good enough. I said that I wanted to break the cycle of hating my kids because they are not good enough. I said that I never wanted my kids to feel unloved. I said that I wanted them to know that I loved them and that they are good enough. I told her that I love her for who she is, not because she makes a lot of money. <br><br>I said that I am not going to teach our kids to value money and status. I want to teach them to be happy with what they have. I want to teach them that as long as they have everything they need, and a little more on top of that, they should be content. I told her that I want to break the cycle of greed and selfishness. <br><br>I finished by saying that I don’t want to be a financially stable Asian Dad. I want to be a financially stable Dad who teaches his kids to be content with what they have and to love everyone for who they are. <br><br>I love my wife so much and I am so glad we had this talk. I want my kids to know that they are good enough and that they are loved. <br><br>Edit: Thank you all for your kind comments. My wife and I are feeling much better and we had a great talk. We decided to read the book together and we ordered it yesterday. I appreciate all of the book recommendations. My wife and I are going to read those together too.<br><br>Edit: My wife suggested that I change the title of the post to Financially Stable Asian Husband instead of Financially Stable Asian Dad. She said that she thought the title was too long for chambers but that it was a better title.