Is it ok to call my students “idiot”

I’m a 28yo female teacher. I work in Asia, where culture and people are much more conservative. I teach grade 9 at a public school. In my country, every school requires student to have at least 2 special subjects (can be either language, art, music or PE etc) in addition to the main subjects. I’m an English teacher, for the first semester, I only teach “main subjects”. Mean the students need to take English as their compulsory subjects. In January, I’ll have another class which is called English as an optional subject. It’s like student can choose what subject they want to be their extra subject. And they won’t have anything to do with me for the rest of their school years. <br><br>My issue is with some students in my “compulsory class”. They’re just so… annoying, idiotic and dumb as hell. I don’t know, I think they’re not smart enough to be in this school, idk what kind of magic that makes them pass every subjects. I was trained in a way that teacher should be “full of love and passion, and ALL FOR STUDENTS, be patient”. <br><br>I usually call students “idiot” (in our language) when they do something wrong and annoy me like a bee. It’s something like “you idiot! Don’t do that!”. “What the hell is wrong with you idiot!”. Although I don’t say it loudly, I’m sure they hear it. I don’t call them idiot every single time they made a mistake. But I do say it out loud sometimes. I don’t want to be mean and I feel bad about it. But honestly I don’t think I can live without calling them idiot. If I don’t call them idiot, I think I might want to kill them. I don’t know I just can’t help it and I can’t control myself sometimes.<br><br>I don’t care much about their feelings. But I care about what parents and other students think of me. I don’t want to lose my career. But to be honest, I just want to call them idiot with all my heart, so that I can feel a little bit better and I can still do my job without hating them. <br><br>P/s: I know calling student idiot is a BIG NO. But honestly I just can’t help it.