I woke up crying because I want a couple friends in my life

I'm 50 years old. At this point, I very often wake up crying. I want couple friends who will invite me to events with them. I want to be invited to weddings. I want to be at someone's house when their kids are born. I want to go on a girls weekend with friends. <br><br>I want to know that if I really needed help, I could ask a couple friends. I want to be able to get a phone call at 3am and help if they needed it. <br><br>It breaks my heart that I don't have this in my life. <br><br>I've just been crying for the last hour.