AITA for telling my boyfriend I have a date I’m not telling him about?

I recently turned 25 and would love to meet my future husband by 28. I have my life together, work as a civil engineer, live on my own, and am basically doing everything I feel should be done. I met my current bf on Bumble a few weeks ago. He lives an hour away and talked to me nonstop until we met. I feel like we really vibe. But here’s the issue. <br><br>As I’m getting to know him I want to make sure I’m not going to end up settling down with him. He asked about the type of guy I’m looking for and I told him I’m looking for a tall, well-built guy who is smart and builds high rise buildings someday. He’s 5’10” and works on building houses for a living. He’s very smart and will surely be a successful guy one day. <br><br>He said he understands I’m just looking for a type and he will show me how a good guy treats me. One night we had a drunk night and he asked if I ever dated tall guys and I said yes. He asked how they were and I said they’re very fun and very well-endowed. <br><br>He said that’s not a fair question to ask him, but ever since that day he has been distant and doesn’t message as much as he used to. I’m not sure if he’s going to be a good guy for me. <br><br>He has a friend he’s been friends with since childhood who is basically everything I’m looking for. They’re also very close friends. My bf has work that’s going to be super busy and he does this all the time, but his friend will be able to talk to me in case I feel lonely or want to talk. So our communication has been little, but he does have a busy job. <br><br>I just wanted to ask him how he felt and how the future would be, but he knows I’m not in a place to be waiting for him for a few years to open up to talking, dating, or whatever. I’m hoping to get married and have my first kid by 31. <br><br>He said he doesn’t really have time to talk right now, but his friend has told me how he feels. His friend said he’s the type of guy where he starts to consume everything he gets into, whether that’s his work or personal relationships. He said if my bf is too consumed with work right now I can just give him a little distance and he would talk to me. He also said my bf hasn’t really been treated right in past relationships so I think giving him space will help him open up over time.<br><br>I asked his friend if he thought my bf could be a high rise building architect and he said he doesn’t think he has the drive to get there. He also said he thinks my bf is a little intimidated and that’s why he’s been distant. I will have to give him a little space. His friend said he would talk to him about it, but has been on a long trip for work.<br><br>I also met my bfs best friend from their college days. They’re the inner circle. I got along with him really well and he said something similar. That basically my bf will not be able to see the future until he gets older. <br><br>I really like my bfs friends though. They’re both really nice and cool guys. They also told me if I end up with my bf and he doesn’t treat me right they’ll be there. So I feel like I have really nice people in my corner. <br><br>I decided I’m going to give my bf space. I really do like him a lot and I think he has potential. I’m going to let him work hard on this project and then see if it’s going to work. But when you’re trying to find your life partner there’s no time to lose. <br><br>So the problem is my bfs friend. We have always kept in touch. We’ve never met again in person, but he’s always been a guy I can call to get advice on guys. He’s 6’0” and I heard he’s also into taller girls as well. He’s told me some tips so far that have worked out. We met before I met my current bf and it was just as friends.<br><br>I only text my bfs friend in case my bf is too busy. I will have to give him a little space. I texted his friend the other day and told him I had a date tonight. I also told him I wasn’t going to tell my bf about it though. He asked who it was with and I said just a guy I met online. I said I didn’t think I was going to go through with it and it was not something serious, so I didn’t see the point of telling him. <br><br>He said that I was going to hurt him if I lie to him. I said I’m not lying to him, but also don’t see the point of telling him something that isn’t serious. He said he was going to tell him. I said I was going to break up with him if he did that. He said he was going to tell him anyway. I said it wasn’t his decision and I was going to break up with my bf if he told him.<br><br>So he told him. So now my bf is saying he wants to break up with me because I’m lying to him. I’m really upset and feel like he’s just not giving me any space or room to breathe. I told him I have been really patient and that he should trust me to do the right thing and not worry about who I’m talking to. He said he doesn’t trust anyone and that’s why he’s not going to date me anymore. I said it was unfair of him to not trust me and that I would break up with him too. I’m devastated by how bad this has gotten. AITA?<br><br>Edit: I did meet the guy from Bumble. He was super nice and I would like to see him again. He asked if I was single and I said yeah. He said he works hard so if he’s going to be with someone they have to be loyal. I said I was 100% loyal and that he would always feel comfortable in that situation with me. I said if I ever thought we weren’t compatible I would let him know as soon as possible. He said he felt good that I was upfront with him.