Suddenly, I hate my family.

I'm a 30(M), and I was always proud of my "big italian family". I'm one of 8 kids (it's a long story as to why my parents didn't just have the 2-3 kids they could afford and instead opted to have 8 kids, including Irish Twins and a set of triplets), and growing up it was so much fun. Despite struggling financially, my parents did their best to ensure we had a happy childhood.<br><br>Now that I'm an adult, it's just become too much. Last night I went to my parents' house for dinner, and my dad just sat at the kitchen table drinking and complaining loudly about how difficult his life is. It was 8 kids, and now 30 grandkids, and it's too much. I understand that, but I feel like he did this to himself.<br><br>Then he started talking about the upcoming holidays, and how it's going to be a burden having to host Christmas at his house (for the 8th year in a row). I asked him why he always has to host, and he snapped and said "because otherwise your mother's sister will throw a fit because she can't be the host". I feel like... if your sister in law is going to throw a tantrum if she's not allowed to host a holiday, she's an adult, fuck her. I'm so sick of my dad being a pushover and then complaining about how his life sucks. I have such little respect for him and it's making me hate the people I love.<br><br>My dad's complaints really came to a head last night when he said "your mother and I didn't get to live the lives we wanted. We were too busy raising you 8."<br><br>I feel bad that they feel that way, but this is the life they CHOSE. They could have stopped at 2 or 3 kids, and they would have had more money and freedom. Instead, they had 8. Its not our fault.<br><br>I don't know, last night just really made me hate my family. I don't want to hate my dad but it's getting harder and harder for me to ignore his poor attitude.