Yesterday I met up with a person I haven't seen for 12 years

EDIT: Sorry if this is a little too long, I’m still new to this writing thing We met up in a corner of a small pub. It didn't feel like we last saw each other 12 years ago. 12 years ago, we were shy and people who would get super anxious in social situations. We were both going through the toughest time in our life. We were still teenagers, still in high school. We both had a crush on each other but we were too shy to admit it to each other. We would meet up on a bench in a small park at night and talk for hours for hours until the sun would start to rise. We would cry, sing along to our favourite songs, make each other laugh, talk about our future, our dreams, our wishes, our fears... We were each others best friend. But one day, she moved away, in another city in another part of the country to go to university, and I stayed in my hometown. We both became busy with work and university, and our friendship slowly started to fade away. I tried to contact her many times, but she stopped responding to my messages and emails. We didn't have social media back then I was heartbroken when she disappeared from my life. I couldn't understand why she left me like that, without saying any goodbye, without saying anything. I couldn't understand why she left me like that and I threw all my hopes and dreams away. I stopped taking care of myself. I became more of a loner. I never stayed in a relationship for more than a year. Even if someone liked me I would push them away. I would always make excuses to not go out and meet new people. I cared more for objects and other things than about people and relationships. I don't know, maybe it was because I was scared that another person would walk out of my life and I would be left alone and heartbroken. Maybe I thought I wasn't good enough. Maybe I thought people hated me for some reason. Or maybe I just grew up in a family where my self esteem was brought to zero and I thought that nobody appreciated me, that nobody cared about me. I don't know, maybe I'm weird, or maybe I'm just unlucky, but for me it's like I'm invisible, people usually don't notice me, or maybe I just think that, maybe it's just all in my head. But for some reason, I still felt the need to hold on to the past. I still held on to that bench in that park where we used to meet and talk for hours. I couldn't let go no matter how hard I tried to. But then, last week, I got a message from her saying hi. I was shocked and speechless. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know how to answer. I had a lot of questions inside my head. Why now? Why after so many years? Why not at least 10 years ago? Why not at least 5 years ago? I didn't know what to do. She wanted to meet up with me. I didn't know if I should meet her or not. Why did I have to do this now? How did she even find me? Did she search for me? I felt like I was in a dream. I felt like I was in a movie. I felt like I was born again. I felt like that little child who’s just discovering the world for the first time. I was super nervous. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to feel. I felt something that I never felt before. I was speechless. I couldn’t say a word. I was frozen. I didn’t know what to do. I was nervous, super nervous. I couldn’t breathe. I was hungry, super hungry, and could eat a whole elephant. I was super sleepy. I was excited, super excited. I was anxious, I had cold feet, I had butterflies in my stomach. My heart was beating so fast. I had a lot of questions inside my head. Where did she go? Why did she disappear from my life? How did she even find me? Did she search for me? Is she married? Is she in a relationship? Is she happily married? Has she been happier without me? Did she miss me? Was she thinking of me? Were we ever friends at all? How many times did she think of me? How many times did she think of us? Is there a future left for us? Do we still like each other? Do we still have a crush on each other? Did we still have feelings for each other? But I still went to meet her. I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. I didn’t want to lose the chance of meeting her again after so many years. She was sitting alone at a table inside the pub. She was smiling at me. She looked thinner than I remembered. She looked prettier than I remembered. She looked more beautiful than I remembered.

Yesterday I met up with a person I haven't seen for 12 years

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