I used heroin for 3 years. I’m 2 months off the shit and it feels amazing. Just wanted to share that.

Edit: Thank you everyone for the kind messages, I’ll do my best to respond to as many of you as I can.<br><br>It’s crazy because once you get clean, people around you notice and treat you differently. I was running into people I know everywhere and getting respect. People are truly awesome ‘for you’ when you make it through something like this. <br><br>I used heroin for 3 years. Like most of you, I always thought heroin was the absolute worst drug out there, until I used it. I had an addiction to prescription drugs that was costs thousands of dollars a month. A friend introduced me, and it was 1/10 the price and 10x more potent. I was immediately hooked. The first few days I felt guilty, and terrible, ‘I use heroin’. I was a loser. But I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t worried we could get clean whenever we wanted, we told ourselves at the time. <br><br>Not long after I had a medical emergency, which I thought was an overdose. It turned out I had a blood clot in my lung. But at the time, we thought it was an overdose, and I ended up in the ICU for a week. I didn’t have health insurance and the medical bills were crippling. I had no money, and a 40k bill for the ICU. But, I also had a legendary kick. I felt amazing. Being high on heroin for a week, then going through a week of withdrawals was awful. But it was worth it, because I came out of it with a great supply of heroin which I used to get high with, and then I got back on it after that. <br><br>I lost my job, and my house. I was living on the streets. I had to go to the hospital a lot, and I would get high again when I got out. I felt like I was killing myself. I was sleeping in the rain, eating canned food, and doing heroin. I felt like the scum of the earth. But I could not imagine going through withdrawals again. <br><br>One day, I got locked up, and I went through withdrawals. I was shitting myself and throwing up. They put me in a special ward, and I felt terrible. I ended up getting released. The kick was extreme, and I got high again. But I thought things would change this time, I felt ‘special’ that I got out. But the same thing kept happening. I couldn’t get money, I would get arrested, go through withdrawals, get released, and get high again to feel normal. <br><br>One day, I woke up. I was in a room I didn’t know, with people I didn’t know, laying on the floor. It was dirty, with needles and feces. I couldn’t look at myself, I didn’t know who I was. Something told me I had to stop. So I packed a bag, and I went to rehab. I had been to rehab before, and it did nothing for me, but I had to try again. They put me on suboxone, and I was still high, but I was able to function. I was able to get a room, I cleaned myself up, I got a job, I got insurance. I was doing it. <br><br>After rehab, I had to go to meetings. They were fucking bullshit, but they kept me clean. I met people, and we talked about our struggles. They were awesome, and always happy to see me. They told me to stay clean, and I did. I took the suboxone for about 3 months, then I ran out. They cut me off, and told me if I came back, they’d put me on methadone. I didn’t want to use the methadone, and I didn’t want to be on the suboxone, so I stopped taking it. I was a little scared, but I decided to ride it out. <br><br>The first few days were hard, I was depressed, I didn’t want to do anything ‘for me’. But I met people, I worked, I hung out in public. It was great. But I still felt different, I didn’t feel ‘clean’. It was as if I still used the shit. I was an addict, it felt like I was always going to be an addict. <br><br>But I’m clean now. Today, I didn’t feel like an addict. I’m not an addict, I used to be an addict. I can say that confidently for the first time in 3 years. I feel normal, I feel like I used to before I ever used drugs. I’m a human being, and I’m here to live. I’m not here to die. I’m not disgusting. Life is beautiful. <br><br>I’m interested in school, I’m interested in hobbies again. I’m working, and I’m hanging out with my friends I haven’t seen in months. They’re so happy, and I’m happy. I have my sister back, I have my brother back, I have my mom back, I have my dad back. They love me, and I love them. My relationship with my mom is amazing now. Me and her used to fight constantly, and hate each other, now we’re friends. I can share my story with the world, I can tell anyone I’m a recovering addict. I am not ashamed, I am proud. <br><br>I’m proud to be an American, I’m proud to be alive. I’m gonna go hike tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. I’m gonna do it for me. I used to think I needed to get high to function, but I don’t. I can function, I can work, I can live without drugs. <br><br>If you’re in the same situation I was in, please get help. Go to rehab, go to meetings, reach out to people. Do it for yourself. If you need help, message me. I’ll be here, and I’ll support you. But most importantly, do it for yourself. Don’t do it for anyone else, do it for you. Believe in yourself, and you will win.