My brother died on husband duty

My youngest brother died. I am deeply sad. I am not much good at dealing with death, I just seem to shut down a little bit inside whenever it happens. Like something inside of me has to go away to be able to deal with it. This is the first time I lost a sibling. <br><br>Anyway, this sucks. I am not doing that good with it. <br><br>Anyway, you all have been a great support for me. I was living a lie before this sub opened my eyes to it. <br><br>My brother died on husband duty, where he was a provider, and a better man, and did not have any other rewards. <br><br>So, you guys are the best. I was a blue pill beta, and I probably still am, but am trying my best not to be. <br><br>No, my brother did not die doing something he loved. He died on a dog walk. Not even doing anything he liked. He died doing his terrible, no-reward job as a husband, basically being a provider and a dog walker, in exchange for his sperm, where he was barely wanted, or needed. <br><br>Anyway, this has been very poorly written. You guys are the best. Thank you for opening my eyes.