Five minutes until doomsday

Five minutes until doomsday.<br><br>A giant, burning meteor was headed straight for earth, no chance of survival, people were running around, laughing maniacally, and screaming at the top of their lungs. One man, however, stood still. He stood tall and proud above all the mayhem. He was a man on a mission.<br><br>1 minute.<br><br>He walked through the crowds, dodging the running, screaming people, and made his way to the nearest grocery store. He walked through the entrance, and a bell let out a small jingle.<br><br>30 seconds.<br><br>He hurried towards the frozen section, and pulled out a tub of chocolate ice cream. He walked towards the cash registers, where a young woman sat, crying.<br><br>10 seconds.<br><br>The man smiled kindly at her, and said, “Hello. Well, every tub of ice cream is 50% off right now. How much will that be?”<br><br>5 seconds.<br><br>The woman sniffled, and rubbed her red eyes, before answering "Five dollars. But what’s the point? The world is ending.”<br><br>0 seconds.<br><br>The man reached into his pocket, and pulled out a crumpled up five dollar bill. He smiled at her, and said, “There’s always a point. This is my favorite flavor, and I always promised myself that I’d never miss an opportunity to buy it at a discount.”<br><br>The woman smiled weakly at the man, and handed him a receipt to sign.<br><br>The man scribbled his name down, and then there was an ear splitting boom, and a blinding flash of light.<br><br>The man walked into heaven, and was greeted by Saint Peter.<br><br>Saint Peter smiled at the man, and said, “It isn’t often that we get people like you. You know, most people would be praying, or repenting. But you. You bought ice cream.”<br><br>The man smiled, and said, “I love ice cream.”<br><br>Saint Peter chuckled, and said, “Well...I think we can arrange for you to have all the ice cream you want. But...(pauses) well, there’s a small problem. You see, your ice cream is still on earth, and if I sent you back now to get it, you’d burn up, and if I waited for it to cool down, it would melt.”<br><br>The man smiled, and said, “Then it’s perfect.”<br><br>Saint Peter was confused. “What do you mean?”<br><br>The man smiled, and said, “I have all of eternity. And my ice cream is going to be just out of reach...It’s perfect.”<br><br>Saint Peter smiled, and said, “Well then, you may stay here forever.”<br><br><br>Edit: Some of y’all are saying that ice cream can’t be sold for a discount, because it’s already 50% off. But it says that “every tub of ice cream is 50% off right now.” So it is discounted by 100%.