I hate having sex with my wife

I M25 hate having sex with my wife F32. <br><br>We've been together for 8 years and married for 4. She 100% has aphasia. I've tried to be patient and understanding that it isn't her fault... but I just can't stand having sex with her anymore.<br><br>She doesn't masturbate, or use any toys, in fact she's never even seen a porn. She has no idea what she likes and refuses to find out. In fact whenever I've asked her what she likes, she says "whatever is fine" and then gets offended when I tell her that's not an answer.<br><br>When we have sex she doesn't keep herself clean. She will literally have pebbles and leaves in her vagina. I've gotten splinters and have almost fished out a thumb drive once. I've asked her to just keep herself groomed but she refuses. She'll just shower and expect that to be enough.<br><br>She doesn't like oral, she won't give blow jobs, and she doesn't like kissing. During sex she lays on her back and doesn't move. No foreplay, no kissing, no touching. Just lays there until she cums. I've tried to get her to make love with me but she says she would rather just have sex.<br><br>She will only have sex in the bed, and only on her side. You can't hang upside down from the ceiling, you can't fuck her in the pool, you can't even fuck on the shower floor. And since we are a young couple we don't have a big bed. We have a queen but she's a big girl. She's 5'11 and 230 lbs. She won't go to the gym and can't afford surgery so I'm just stuck dealing with the fact that my sex life isn't a fun fun adventure of exploring positions but rather me trying to find a spot where I can actually fit my dick in her without breaking it.<br><br>I've asked her to let me buy her sexy lingerie so we can be intimate and have a connection and she just laughs at me. We've tried to have a conversation about sex but she always makes me feel like a weird pervert or freak for wanting to be intimate with my wife.<br><br>I absolutely hate having sex with her. I hate that she refuses to try to be sexy. I hate that she refuses to be intimate. And I hate that she never wants to try new things. But I also recognize that she can't help that she has a disorder. I understand that she has traits I dislike and I'm trying to work through it.<br><br>But my biggest issue is that she wants to have kids and I absolutely do not.<br><br>She unfortunately can't have kids naturally because of her weight and age so we would have to deal with either surrogacy or adoption. I do not want to be a father at all. I absolutely hate kids and do not want to deal with the emotional and financial burden of having a kid. However she says it's the "women's way" and that we need to honor our ancestors by having children. Yet she refuses to try to be healthy, she refuses to get therapy, and she refuses to try to have a better sex life.<br><br>I'm just done. I want to explore my sexuality with someone but I'm married to someone who doesn't care about our sex life. I want to be a child free couple but she refuses to try to be healthy enough to have a kid. I'm just absolutely done with our marriage and don't know what to do.<br><br>I've tried communicating. I've tried being patient. I've gotten therapy to try and help her and I'm just done with trying to make it work. I want to leave her but every time I think about it I feel bad because I know that she can't help being the way she is.<br><br>&#x200B;