Pregnant and mentally ill, what to do?

My fiance and I got pregnant. I have to admit that I really don’t want a kid, and my parents, his mom and my friends are all telling me to abort, but my friend told me to wait before deciding so I’m doing that.<br><br>The thing is that I have always wanted to be a mom, but the issue is that my mental health isn’t in the best place. I have been taking my meds for a year and a half, but I have been diagnosed with borderline, and my symptoms have been really bad since January. I have been having a lot of suicidal thoughts and my anxiety is destroying me to the point I just can’t leave the house to go t anything.<br><br>I am seeing my therapist, but the thing is that I don’t know if I’m ready to be a mom and give a good life to my child. I don’t know it I’m ready to have kids and/or if I’m ready to be a mom.<br><br>My fiance is upset because he wants to have kids and he never would abort, but he is thinking about breaking up with me because he doesn’t want us to be parents and I don’t know what to do.<br><br>I don’t know, I’m just lost and I don’t know what to do. He is not answering my calls or chats and he isn’t home. He has been gone since Saturday night when we had a big fight.<br><br>I really don’t know what to do. I’m really scared and I’m freaking out. Would you be able to give me some kind of advice or something?