I’ve been lonely since 7

I don’t know what happened but it just felt so suddenly as if I was supposed to be alone forever. I don’t remember the first time it happened because I was so young but I believe it was 7 years old.<br><br>I could never make friends for some reason even though I’m a very extroverted person. I’m not really good at those things. I always wanted a close best friend like an “I’ve been your best friend since forever” type of relationship but I’ve never had it.<br><br>I always wanted to share my problems with someone close to me but I have no one. I have to bottle it up inside and deal with it myself. My parents don’t even care about me that much and neither do I care about them. <br><br>I’ve never been loved. I’ve never been hugged. I don’t know what it’s like to be loved.<br><br>I’ve tried so many ways to make friends and to have my own space, like making my own club but no one showed up. I’ve always felt alienated, and sometimes I wonder if I’m even human. I wonder what I’m even doing here in this world.<br><br>I’ve put myself through so much pain and so many times I just want to cut out my tongue and break my head and shout and scream into the void for being so useless. I don’t know what I’m doing here, I don’t have any idea what I’m doing with my life, I don’t have any friends, I’m not even allowed to have pets because my parents don’t care about me.<br><br>I just want to be held and hugged, and have someone to talk to about my problems. I want someone to love me, to love me for who I am and accept me for who I am. I want to know what it feels like to be loved, to have a best friend and to be hugged. <br><br>To whomever is reading this, please hold the people you take for granted close, for you don’t know how I feel.