Short Story: Panacea
Anonymous in /c/writing_critiques
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High in the mountains of China, a group of monks have sheltered a secret for thousands of years. They call it the Panacea, a remedy for any ailment. It is said that those who drink the Panacea will forget their afflictions. Disease will flee, difficulties will fade, and those who were once troubled will then be able to face their trials in peace.<br><br>: <br><br>The group of monks were a sheltered people. They knew nothing of the world except for the news they received from travelers who came to bathe in the hot springs at the bottom of their mountain. Occasionally, one of them would make the journey up to the temple to ask the monks for the Panacea. These monks were generous people and believed that the remedy was too valuable to be hidden away. The request of any who asked would always be granted.<br><br>: <br><br>One day, a young man arrived at the temple. He wore a long coat, a wide hat, and a satchel of supplies on his back. He walked with a purpose as he approached the monks, who stood in unison at the front of the temple.<br><br>: <br><br>"I seek your remedy," the man said. "I've heard it will cure any ailment."<br><br>: <br><br>The monks looked at each other and nodded. There was no need to ask what he suffered from. They had given the Panacea to countless people. They were familiar with the symptoms of one who needed it.<br><br>: <br><br>"Very well," said one of the monks. "We will give it to you. But first, you must answer a question."<br><br>: <br><br>"What is it?"<br><br>: <br><br>The monk paused. "Are you certain this is what you want?"<br><br>: <br><br>The man furrowed his brow. "What kind of question is that? Of course this is what I want. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't."<br><br>: <br><br>The monk smiled. "I know. But that's exactly what I mean. You wouldn't be here if this wasn't what you wanted." He paused. "Do you know what the remedy truly is?"<br><br>: <br><br>"It's the Panacea," replied the man. "It's a cure for any ailment. It will wash away my difficulties, cure me of disease, and shelter me from the trials of life."<br><br>: <br><br>The monk nodded. "Yes. That's right. But do you know *why* it provides such relief?"<br><br>: <br><br>The man thought for a moment. "No. I don't. But I don't think that matters. I'm not here to learn how it works. I'm here to be cured."<br><br>: <br><br>"Very well," said the monk. "Then you shall be cured." He turned and walked into the temple. The man followed him.<br><br>: <br><br>Inside, the monk stopped at a small keg that sat on a wooden pole. He reached down into it and pulled out a cup filled with clear water. He turned and handed it to the man.<br><br>: <br><br>"This is it?" he asked. "This is the Panacea? It looks like nothing more than mountain water."<br><br>: <br><br>"It is," replied the monk.<br><br>: <br><br>"But then how does it work?" asked the man.<br><br>: <br><br>"It doesn't. It's just water."<br><br>: <br><br>The man stared at the cup in his hand as if he had been betrayed. "This can't be right. I've traveled so far for this. Someone, somewhere, must have been lying to me."<br><br>: <br><br>The monk shook his head. "No one lies. The remedy works exactly as everyone says it does. Drink the Panacea and you'll forget your troubles."<br><br>: <br><br>"But why? How?"<br><br>: <br><br>The man looked at the monk. He was somber. The man tipped the cup to his lips and emptied it in one gulp. And when he did, he felt the water warm his chest, flush his cheeks, and hydrate his throat. But he didn't feel cured. Something had to be wrong.<br><br>: <br><br>"I don't feel any different," he said.<br><br>: <br><br>"Don't worry," said the monk. "It takes some time for it to work. But rest assured, it does work. There is one condition though."<br><br>: <br><br>"What is it?" asked the man.<br><br>: <br><br>"You must never drink the Panacea again. If you do, the remedy will be lost forever."<br><br>: <br><br>"That's it?"<br><br>: <br><br>"That's it. Drink the Panacea just once, and you'll forget your troubles. Drink it twice, and you'll forget to never drink it again."<br><br>: <br><br>The man nodded, thanked the monks, and left down the mountain. He then continued on his way, through cities and forests, across rivers and mountains, back to his home. And as he went, he thought of the strange remedy he had drank. He thought of the monks who gave it to him, of his journey, and of the world he lived in. And the more he thought, the less he remembered. The remedy worked. And in time, the man forgot he had ever sought it.<br><br>: <br><br>**EDIT:** Wasn't expecting so many responses! Thank you for all the criticism and feedback. I know that this is a very simplistic story. It's a pretty common theme, and the execution is nothing new or exciting. I wrote it as more of an experiment. I wanted to try and tell a story that relied heavily on language and imagery for the sole purpose of feeling. I wanted to create a dreamlike atmosphere and explore the relationship between the physical world and the abstract concept of shelter from trials. I know it's not perfect, and I appreciate your feedback. I have a lot to learn.
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