my marriage is so lonely

my husband and I met when we were 19 and now we’re 29. in that period we’ve built a life together, moved into our own place together, got married, and we’re about to have our first baby. my husband is a godsend, he works his ass off for us and loves me with all his heart. he’s always there whenever I need him and has my back through thick and thin. he’s my rock. <br><br>despite all this though I’m so terribly lonely. when I was younger I had friends but once I had to drop out of college for medical and financial reasons they all abandoned me. I’m the first one in my family to not finish their degree so my family also started to ostracize me from family get-togethers and events. my health issues have also cause me to be isolated and lonely. <br><br>my husband is literally my only friend. the only person I talk to. he tries his hardest to be a good partner and try to lessen the burden of me being lonely in any way he can but I can’t help but feel so lonely. I don’t feel like my own person anymore, I just feel like a marriage baby accessory. I don’t feel like I even know who I am outside of my husband and baby. I don’t want to be lonely, I just can’t seem to find the motivation to put myself out there and make friends, and I’m also a homebody and don’t really like going out. <br><br>I want to be around other people, to make a friend who will be there to support me, to have a girls night, to do all the things friends do. I just don’t see it happening and I feel so so lonely living my life this way.