I Am Not The Man I Wanted To Be

I am a 25-year old dude, about 6' tall, 170 pounds, clean, and I try to look my best. I am in a well paying career and my life consists of work, home, and a gym routine. I used to be fat, so this is a big change for me. I am proud of myself in many ways, but not all. <br><br>I have been looking at myself in the mirror lately and realizing that I'm not exactly the guy I wanted to be. I am not the hot jock, nor the funny man, nor the mysterious bad boy. I'm just a regular guy. I'm about a 6 out of 10, and I'm OK with it. Originally, I wanted to be that perfect 10, but I'm not.<br><br>The other day, I went on a date and I tried to be the best version of myself. I wore clean clothes, dressed well, was polite and respectful, and was prepared to talk about a variety of topics. I did work hard at being the most interesting man I could be. I wanted to be an exciting person, not a boring one. I was also not afraid to be myself, which is probably the most important thing.<br><br>The date did not go well, I was not the most interesting person, and I was not what she was looking for. It's a sliding scale of disappointment, but it is what it is. I learned that it's OK to not be what someone else is looking for. It's a difficult lesson to learn, but that's how life is.<br><br>I work hard to keep my head up and move forward. I'm not a winner, I'm just a guy trying my best. I try hard to be the best version of myself, even if I'm not as good as I could be. I am not perfect, but I am trying my best. I'm just a guy who is grateful for what I have and am trying to be the best person I can be.