Our family is divided after I wrote a cheque for my granddaughter’s college tuition, but only under the condition that she never has contact with my parents again.

I was sexually abused as a child by my brother, and I never told anyone about it until I was in my mid 20s. <br><br>I was in therapy for a few years to deal with the trauma of it. I ended up cutting my parents and brother out completely, and although it wasn’t an easy decision, I feel like it was the right one.<br><br>My dad’s side of the family knew why, but my mom’s side didn’t really understand why until much later when I told them. <br><br>My parents and brother have all reached out to me numerous times over the years in an attempt to reignite a relationship, but I have flat out refused. <br><br>My mom tried last year, by saying that she wanted to see her great-grandkids. I told her she could see pictures, and that she could see them in the obituaries when my husband and I die.<br><br>She did say that my brother was sorry, but I told her that wasn’t good enough. I said he needed to turn himself in, serve his sentence and then I’d consider talking to him, but not until then. <br><br>Anyways, my granddaughter is heading off to college in the fall. We love her so much and are so proud of her, and of course we want to help her have a good life. We already put aside money for medical and law school for her and her brother. <br><br>She’s decided she wants to go to an out of state university, and we told her we’d help with tuition. But we also have the same deal for her brother, and we want to make sure we have money for both of them. So we told her she’d have to pay in state tuition. <br><br>She said okay, but then went behind our backs and asked my mom for money. I got a call from my mom a few days later, asking if I’d be willing to make peace if she paid the out of state tuition for her. <br><br>I told her no, and I also asked her why she was still trying to make my decisions for me. <br><br>She said I wasn’t being rational. <br><br>I said she’s the one who was being irrational. <br><br>I then hung up the phone and blocked her number.<br><br>Well, apparently my granddaughter went to my daughter with the offer my mom made, and my daughter accepted it. <br><br>I told my daughter that if my mom pays for tuition, then we’ll have nothing to do with her. She can stay with her great-grandmother for breaks, she cannot set foot in our house again. <br><br>I said the same to my granddaughter. And I also said that if my mom pays a penny of tuition, I will no longer acknowledge her as my granddaughter. <br><br>I wrote her a cheque for her tuition and handed them the cheque, but it was contingent upon the condition that my mom and her sister aren’t involved. <br><br>My daughter said she understood, but she was disappointed in my unwillingness to fix things. <br><br>My granddaughter agreed, and we are still on good terms. <br><br>However, my DIL (who is part of my husband’s family) did call me up and ask if it had to be so drastic. <br><br>I told her yes. I told her that that kind of thing is unforgivable. She agrees, but she said she’s worried about my daughter and granddaughter being cut out of the family. <br><br>They are not being cut out, and my daughter knows this. She also knows that my grandchildren know this. <br><br>I don’t know if I should compromise and just allow them to have a relationship with my parents. But I just can’t. <br><br>Chambers, AITA for my unwillingness to compromise?<br><br>Edit: Everyone who has commented with the suggestion that I make my brother pay for tuition with his seized assets, I appreciate it. However, he was never reported to authorities. I was too afraid at the time, so I didn’t tell anyone.