I've never had a friend

I know it's not uncommon for people to go through periods of their life without friends, but for me, I've never had a friend in my entire 32 years of life. I had one in college, who became my boyfriend and then my ex. I had two in my early 30s, who became my ex and ex's best friend. Currently I have zero.<br><br>I try. I join groups. I go to events. I try to go out. I try to be open to people. But I have never had a friend. I've always been lonely. <br><br>I don't know why. I'm not a bad person. I'm funny. I'm outgoing. I'm smart. I'm an extrovert.<br><br>Currently I live a few blocks from the ocean, and I'm a stay at home mom. I have everything I never had as a child. I am taking care of my son.<br><br>Still, I am horribly lonely. Not the kind of loneliness you can cure by going out more, or trying harder or joining more groups. I'm not picky. I need one person, just one, who likes to talk to me, who wants to hang out, who can be there for me when I need them.<br><br>I've tried to do that for others, but it doesn't seem to work out. I don't know why. <br><br>I don't know where else to turn.