Saw a video of a 20 year old killing himself and I can’t get it out of my head

Title. I don’t even know what to say. Why did I watch it? I don’t know. I wish I hadn’t. He’s been on my mind all day. I feel so bad for him. I feel so bad life was that bad and no one could save him. I keep imagining what he looked like when it happened, imagining what he went through before he died. Oh my gosh, I’m actually crying now. I feel so terrible. I can’t imagine doing that to myself. What if that’s me someday? I don’t think I can do it but I can’t imagine not being able to escape my depression someday.