How do I get closer to my husband when I’m always just looking out for his comfort?

My husband and I have been married for about three years now, and in the past year or so I’ve slowly come to the realization that he has my life dictated. He is an avid player of tabletop games, especially DnD and Pathfinder. <br><br>Since we met, I have accommodated his hobbies, and since I was a bit new and excited to be in a relationship I went along with it gladly. I haven’t been ever been much of a gamer, only having played a few games as a child, and mostly being in the audience for this sort of thing. I realized the first time I ever played with some of his friends that I was really bad at these games. Being the type of person who’s easy to influence, I really didn’t want to ruin the fun, so I never said no to playing. And I never do. I wish I could, but every time they want to play I know how embarrassing it is to be bad and how much it makes them job at me so I just quietly agree so they can have their fun. It’s an immense amount of pressure knowing that if I mess up it will not only be embarrassing but could possibly ruin the game for them. It has reached the point where I’m not even allowed to play anymore because his friends don’t want to have me ruin the game. I can’t blame them, I know the pressure and wouldn’t want to deal with it either. His other friends who don’t play with us have the same sentiment and I’m completely okay with it.<br><br>I used to like going to the gym and running, but I stopped doing that because it’s ‘too strenuous’ and I might be ‘tired’ and I don’t want to talk to him while he’s gaming. I’m all for keeping in contact with my partner despite how busy our lives get. But I feel like I’m doing everything for him and he does nothing for me. I’m upset that I don’t have my own hobbies, because this made us drift apart so much. And I feel like I’m just a tool, only existing to make sure that he is as comfortable as possible.<br><br>Whenever he has friends over, either to game or not, I will always make sure that they are taken care of. Their cups are always full, their plates are always full, they are fed and watered and as comfortable as possible. When he’s alone, I automatically default to the same mode, making sure he has everything and I spend no time doing anything for myself. You may say that I have to take care of myself, but I’m not really sure how to do that. I’ve lost my hobbies, and I have no idea where to start with getting my interests back. I feel pretty hopeless, and I’m not sure where to go from here. Any advice on this situation is welcome.