Short Story - High Functioning Anxiety

I'm a high-functioning anxious person. For years, my parents believed I had autism. As a child, I got frustrated when I tried to communicate. They saw my frustration as meltdowns. As I got older, they realized I had anxiety. But I could still be worried and paranoid and still do everything I was supposed to do during the day. I had a job and was a college student at the time and still was able to keep up. I could still have friends and go out. I was just really worried about school and work. <br><br>I'm dating a guy that's a burden. He cannot take care of himself. He's just there. He cannot do anything. He has never worked a job. He doesn't have a car. He doesn't have a phone. He cannot take care of himself. He has never done anything for himself. And I love him. <br><br>But sometimes, or a lot of the time, it angers me how much he gets in the way. It angers me how much he has to be babysat. It angers me how much of a burden he is on me. It angers me how much he asks me for money. It angers me how much he drinks because he doesn't have a car and he doesn't have a job. It angers me how much of a burden he is. <br><br>I want to go to the store and to not have to worry about calling him when I'm done. I want to go to the store and to not have to think about what he's doing when I'm gone and if he's going to be okay. I want to go to the store and to not have to worry about how he's going to get there. I want to go to the store and to not have to worry about if he's going to be too drunk to drive. I want to go to the store and to not have to worry about if he is going to ask me to check if he has money on his card.<br><br>I want to go to the park and to not have to think about babysitting him. I want to go to the park and to not have to think about how he's going to get there. I want to go to the park and to not have to think about if he's going to be okay. I want to go to the park and to not have to think about what he's going to do while I'm gone.<br><br>I want to go to the gym and to not have to think about if he is going to be okay at home. I want to go to the gym and to not have to worry about how he is going to get there. I want to go to the gym and to not have to think about how much he's going to drink while I'm gone. I want to go to the gym and to not have to worry about if he's going to fall off the bed and if he's going to be okay. <br><br>I want to go to the store and to not have to think about if he's going to want to come with me or not. I want to go to the store and not have to worry about how I'm going to get him there. I want to go to the store and not have to think about if he's going to want to walk or not. I want to go to the store and not have to worry about if he's going to want to walk home or not. I want to go to the store and not have to think about if he's going to be okay. I want to go to the store and not have to think about how much he's going to drink. I want to go to the store and not have to think about if he's going to fall and hurt himself tonight. I want to go to the store, buy whatever I'm going to buy, get in my car, drive home, and then go inside. And I want to sit on the couch with him and then go to bed and not have to think about anything. I want to just go to the store and come home and not have to think about what he's going to do while I'm gone and if he's going to be okay. And I know he can't help it. But it's just so stressful.