I often find myself wishing I could be chubby too

Hi everyone, men and women. <br><br>I am a 32 year old woman, married, and barely have any curves. My wedding dress was a size 0. With that said, I feel really lucky, but all my life I have wished I could be a chubby girl because I think that it is more attractive and I find myself liking other girls bodies that are chubby. I 100% know that I just cannot gain weight, no matter how much I eat, I have tried, it just doesn't go anywhere. My body just burns it. <br><br>I wish I could be chubby, and I feel really stupid for feeling that way, because I get told how lucky I am for being so skinny, but I really don't feel like I fit in with the rest of the world at all. I feel like a mannequin. My husband, when we were dating, he had this major crush on her, and he went out with her, and I don't think he ever got past me for her. So I feel like this skinny girl that most men find attractive, but I don't even feel like I am a girl. <br><br>I love chubby girls, and I feel like the only way I would ever get a chubby girl is that they liked skinny girls too. I just feel like I don't fit in and I am just jealous of all the chubby girls that can be attractive. I am not saying I don't like my own body, but in many ways I feel like I am just a tightly wrapped skeleton. I don't like the fact that I can get really sick and only lose 5 pounds. I feel like I am not a woman because I don't have any kind of curves or anything, and that is something that I can never change. I feel like I am just a very thin stick. <br><br>I know I am not the only one. I just feel really lucky, but also unlucky at the same time, and I feel like I can never be what I am attracted to, I am not attracted to skinny girls, and I feel like I am a skinny girl. I feel like I can never be what I am attracted to. It is stupid and it is no one else's fault but my own, and I am not mad at skinny men or women, I just feel like nothing and I feel really stupid for feeling this way.