I hate men, a lot. But I hate women more.

The reason I hate men is because of all the abuse I've been subjected to from them; the boys who pulled my hair so hard to the point I had bald spots, the boys who touched my breasts inappropriately, the boys who bullied me. I had one male friend who asked me out and I politely said no and then he said that he was going to kill me. I asked him again why and he said that he was going to kill me because I wouldn't date him and he hated me for it. I've had about 15-20 male stalkers before and I've had to get restraining orders on them. The police have taken some of their guns away. I've also had a few males threaten to shoot me because I'm not a traditionalist/leftist. I've also had a guy offer me 100 dollars to let him fuck me and then said he was going to kill me if I didn't. His friends held me down while he beat me and then he peed on me. <br><br>The reason I hate women more though is because both my mothers and grandmothers were abusive to me. My sister tried to kill me seven times and after the last time, we're not allowed to be in the same house because social services said that it isn't safe for me to be in the same house with her. My niece tried to strangle me when I was 16 and she was 5. My mother then said that it was my fault that my niece tried to kill me; I told her to fucking get me some help/a therapist and she said no, and so I got pregnant with a guy I'd been seeing for a couple of days. He invited me to Miami and then he got angry with me and started slapping me in the face and then he choked me to the point I blacked out. When I woke up, he was strangling me again and I clawed his face and kicked him in the balls. I ran out of the house, got a cab and then had a miscarriage at the hospital. <br><br>My female cousin tried to kill me twice. She stabbed me in the hand and when she tried to kill me the second time, she almost nicked my artery and told her that she had "nothing to lose." So the police had to get involved as well. <br><br>So I asked my mom for help again and she said no. I asked her to take me to therapy to help me with all of the abuse I'd been subjected to and she said no. I asked her to take me to the doctor because I had internal bleeding and had to have my stomach pumped. I asked her if I could stay with her because I felt unsafe living with my dad. I asked her if I could live with her after I got out of the hospital. In my 25 years of life, this woman has never taken care of me and has never been there for me. She never took me to therapy, never took me to the police station to get restraining orders on people, never took care of me, never helped me. She always said that she wished she'd never had me. She always said that she hated me.<br><br>And so. I hate her. All of the women in my life have been abusive. I hate them all. I hate my mother for not being a good mother. I hate my sister and niece for trying to kill me. I hate my cousin for trying to kill me. I hate my grandmothers for being abusive. I hate most women and I especially hate the ones that are in my life.<br><br>And it's very strange because I also hate men, but I hate women more.