Dear parents, please stop assuming that teachers hate your children or want them to fail.

**TL;DR-** I know a lot of teachers are talking about the difficulties of teaching in the current political climate, so here’s my two cents. Hopefully it’s a good read.<br><br>A few months ago, I asked Chambers for advice on what to talk to parents about at conferences. I got a lot of great advice, but also a lot of negative comments. One was from a mom who literally commented “FUCK YOU”. Some commenters were angry that teachers were discussing what to say to parents, as if we were plotting some sinister thing. There were a lot of conspiracy theories thrown around as well, like teachers pumping kids full of ADHD medication so that we don’t have to deal with them.<br><br>I started teaching in 2015, and from my observations, the political climate around education seems to be getting more hostile. I know many teachers are worried about being attacked by parents at conferences, board meetings, etc. I am too.<br><br>The truth is, most teachers don’t care about your politics. I have taught plenty of students whose families are on the complete opposite side of the political spectrum from me, and it has never affected my teaching or interactions with the students. A kid’s grades and behavior history is all I need to know in order to advocate for them at conferences. If I do know your politics, that’s only because your kid has told me, and I have promptly asked them not to discuss that with me.<br><br>I have had the pleasure of working with many supportive parents who know that we all want the best for their kids. Unfortunately, it seems like there are more and more parents who assume that teachers are out to get them. I have been teaching elementary school for 8 years, and have never encountered a parent who was mad at me about their child’s grades, or who thought that I was out to get their kid. Until last night.<br><br>One of my conference appointments showed up late, and when we sat down, she seemed really stressed out and anxious. After I told her that her daughter is doing well in my subject and that I haven’t seen any issues with her behavior, she told me that her daughter has been coming home from school crying every day. She asked me if I had any idea why her daughter would be so upset with school, and I told her that I hadn’t noticed anything, and that her daughter seems like a sweet, happy girl. The mom then told me that her daughter has been saying that I don’t like her, and that I don’t want her to succeed.<br><br>I was absolutely floored. I don’t even have any record of talking to this girl in a negative way. I asked her mom if her daughter has said anything specific about what she’s said or done that made her feel this way, but she just said no. Then I asked her mom if *she* had said anything negative about me, and she said yes, to the extent that I’m “a liberal who hates my daughter because she’s conservative.” I was shocked that she said this so blatantly, but the mom did seem to be in a lot of stress and distress, so I tried to keep the conference civil and empathetic.<br><br>I explained to the mom that I certainly have a bias, and it’s not political: it’s the bias that all kids should be treated equally and with respect. I told her that I would never want any of my students to feel like I’m out to get them, just because of their beliefs. I told her that her daughter has been nothing but sweet to me. I’m not sure what else to do.<br><br>I was able to talk this mom down from the ledge, and she seemed to trust me a lot more after our conference was over. Nevertheless, the assumption that teachers have an inherent bias in the negative direction is getting more and more common. I am trying to stay professional and empathetic, as I do with every parent, but it is extremely frustrating to have to constantly defend myself and the entire teaching profession.<br><br>If you are reading this, and you are one of those parents who assumes that teachers hate your children, then I want you to step outside yourself and imagine how I feel. I am not a bad person. I have given up a lot to become a teacher, including a lot of money, time, and emotional energy. I am not trying to brainwash your kids. I am not trying to make you look bad. If I were, I wouldn’t waste my time with conferences. I would just talk shit about you behind your back. I am on your kid’s side. I am on *your* side. If you have been making assumptions about teachers, I urge you to please try to see things from our perspective, or at least ask us about it.