So many doctors are sexist. I had the worst experience at the gynecologist. Today someone made me feel like I wasn't crazy.

So i went to the obgyn for the first time and I was terrified. I was so anxious to go because i never liked going to doctors or anything like that so I avoided it for so long. I never had a reason to go until I got pregnant. <br><br>So I go for the first time and it was really weird. The doctor was so nice though, but it was my first time ever and everything, so it was really embarrassing. But overall I was already so ashamed of myself, so whatever. I didn't think much of it. <br><br>The next time I went the doctor was male. So I was mortified. I didn't want him to see me like that. I didn't want to see him like that. I promise it was really weird (idk how to explain it to guys, and I don't mean to be rude). But when I got on the bed he was very stern with me, telling me to scoot down and to grab onto the stirrups. He didn't even let me do it myself. He grabbed my hips and pushed me down so I was in the position he wanted me in. Then he had the nerve to start yelling at me to relax, he was starting to hurt me and I was trying to push him away but he kept on telling me to relax. <br><br>I felt violated. The first time hurt, but it wasn't as bad. This was horrible. I was crying. I couldn't breathe because everything inside me was numb. I didn't want to believe it. I thought I was overreacting. I thought it was normal. I thought he was normal. I thought I was being dramatic and I was racist. I thought I was being a baby. <br><br>I stopped going after that, I was afraid to go back and I didn't want to believe it was real. I didn't want to believe the doctor who was supposed to be helping me was hurting me at the same time. I didn't want to admit it to myself. <br><br>One day I had a lot of concerns about my baby and my body and I decided to ask someone who could reassure me. So I went to a different obgyn and I went with a male doctor because I had no trust left for my own sex. <br><br>When I went in, he was so nice and understanding. I told him I was afraid of doctors and I didn't like going and I explained what happened to me when I went to the obgyn. <br><br>He looked at me for a moment and told me, "What he did to you was not okay. It's not normal. It's not acceptable. I'm so sorry he hurt you, it's not right."<br><br>I was speechless. I started to cry. I felt so much relief, like I had been holding onto this weight for so long and someone finally acknowledged me. He made me feel like I wasn't crazy, like I wasn't being dramatic. What happened to me was real and I shouldn't have had to go through that. <br><br>I just want to say, thank you to the doctor who finally listened to me. I wish more doctors were like you. Thank you for taking care of me and my baby. I'm sorry if my story is jumbled my head is a mess.