Native Japanese speaker learning English for the first time.

I (M31) am a native Japanese speaker, and I’m trying to learn English for the first time. <br><br>English is not used in Japan except for the purpose of traveling or studying abroad. No one uses English to communicate with one another in everyday life. From a very early age, we are taught to be proud of our Japanese language and culture, and English is never used to express ourselves or communicate with others. We are born and raised speaking Japanese, and English is not a part of our lives.<br><br>When I was in high school, I was forced to study English for three years. I hated it. There was nothing I hated more than studying English, because it was forced on me and I never wanted to learn it. It was boring and useless, and I never saw any point in learning it, because Japanese in the only language needed in Japan.<br><br>Now I regret not learning English. It’s now a “trend” to be able to speak English in Japan, especially in Tokyo. And I hate how people can look down on me for not knowing English, as if speaking English is a gift and that everyone who doesn’t speak English is stupid. <br><br>But no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to learn English on my own. I’ve tried to watch English videos with English subtitles, but I have to pause every second to look up a word I don’t understand. I can’t understand what people saying when they speak in English, even if I can read it. I get a headache listening to English, because I have to focus so much to understand what is being said. I feel dumb for not being able to learn English, because it seems like a simple language to learn, and yet I am completely inept.<br><br>All the English learning resources are catered for people who already know how to speak English. They just need to practice the language or learn a specific grammar rule. But for me, everything about English is completely foreign. I don’t know where to start, and I feel like a complete idiot. <br><br>I just wish English was never introduced to Japan.