My friend accidentally met with a gay man and wants to know if it's okay to keep a 2nd date with him.

Hey guys,<br><br>I'm kind of an unusually outgoing person, and today I was just at a random coffee shop, and I ran into a friend of mine, Chad, who I haven't seen in a while, and we started talking. He had a silly story, and I thought some of you would be entertained by it or maybe give some helpful advice.<br><br>Chad is gay, so I’ll write the story in first person from his point of view so you guys get a better feel of it than me just paraphrasing it. He also gave me permission to post this if that makes anyone feel any better. I changed some of the minor details to make it more anonymous.<br><br>\-<br><br>Hey guys,<br><br>I (31M) met this really cool guy (30M) on Bumble. I know it seems shallow, but my criteria are pretty strict. I’m 6’0” 163 lbs, and the guys I match with have to be at least 6’0” and under 170 lbs. I really love tall skinny guys.<br><br>I matched with this guy, let’s call him J, and he was 6’1” 160 lbs, and really good looking, so I swiped right on him. We matched and had a conversation, and he seemed nice. We discovered that we have a lot in common, both of us are big into rock music, both of us love going to the gym and working out, both of us are big drinkers, and we’ve all got similar musical tastes.<br><br>We decided to meet up for coffee at a coffee shop near my house, and I got there first. He walked in the door, and I got a bad feeling right away. He was kind of fat and not anywhere near 6’1”. He was probably more like 5’6” and 220 lbs.<br><br>The first thing he said to me was, “I know I don’t look like my pictures, but I hope we can still be friends.”<br><br>I was pretty pissed off to be honest. One, I don’t like lied to, and two, I just spent 15 minutes driving here and finding parking. He just walked in and sat down at the table next to me and started talking. He was really cool and we had a great conversation. He was hilarious, and really intelligent, and we have way more in common than I thought we would, and he's honestly really interesting.<br><br>At this point I’m still pretty pissed that he lied to me, but I'm also having a great time talking to him. He’s really cool, and I find myself interested in being his friend even if I’m not physically attracted to him.<br><br>At the end of our meeting he asked me if I wanted to grab drinks with him sometime. I told him I’d think about it, and once I started driving home I started feeling really guilty. I have nothing against overweight people, and I don’t want to be shallow, but I just don’t think there’s ever going to be any romantic chemistry between us.<br><br>I’m also afraid if I say no and tell him why he’ll hate himself and hate me and think I'm a shallow asshole. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I don’t want to go on a second date with him either. It’s just going to lead to nothing.<br><br>What do you think I should do? Has anyone ever been in this situation?<br><br>\-<br><br>Edit: Wow this blew up. Just to clarify, I didn’t block him and I’m pretty sure I’m going to go on a 2nd date with him. I’ve been reading all your comments, and it’s really helped me reflect on myself and think more about the situation. Thanks for the feedback everyone.<br><br>Also, just to clarify a few things about me and my preferences that I feel people have either misunderstood or judged me overly harshly for:<br><br>1. I choose to live in San Francisco, which is an extremely superficial city where looks and body play a big factor in both the gay and straight dating scenes. Trying to find someone with interests similar to mine is difficult enough, and this just makes it worse. Looking at someone's pictures is the best way I can quickly figure out if someone is into fitness or not. I know this makes me sound shallow, but this is just my reality.<br><br>2. I'm not some young kid who doesn't know any better. I'm in my 30s and I've been through online dating for over a decade. I have tried multiple times to give people second chances, give the benefit of the doubt, and go on dates with people I'm not sure about or not physically attracted to. I've had nothing but terrible experiences doing this. Either way, it always seems to end badly, and it's always a waste of time.<br><br>3. I'm aware that you can't judge a person's personality by looks alone, and that I should be more open minded and less shallow. I'm trying to work on this, and I really do appreciate all your helpful advice and feedback. Thank you all so much.