I am a Japanese who has been living in Germany for 25 years, and my native Japanese has gotten worse. I had to start studying Japanese from the beginning.

I am Japanese and have been living in Germany for 25 years. Originally, I came to Germany to attend university, then I got a job and stayed here for a long time.<br><br>I was fortunate enough to find a wife who is fluent in Japanese, and after we got married, we decided to raise our child to be bilingual. When I spoke Japanese to my child, my wife sometimes told me, "Japanese people don't say that." I was surprised. Why doesn't a native speaker say that? I'm a Japanese, don't I know the Japanese language?<br><br>Who says that? "I will help you. After Christmas, I will bring you something. Do you want a cake or sweets?"<br><br>No one says that. "I will help you. After Christmas, I will bring some cake or sweets."<br><br>I made this kind of mistakes a lot. After that, my wife pointed it out every time I made a mistake. I was very frustrated. I didn't know I was making such mistakes. I got angry and said, "What do you want me to do about it? I had no one to speak Japanese with in Germany for 20 years." I didn't have any Japanese friends, and I didn't have much contact with my parents. When my wife scolded me, I scolded her back.<br><br>About a year ago, I made a promise to my wife. "I'm going to learn Japanese from the beginning. I'm going to take a Japanese language test to prove it." I was so proud of myself. But I never learned Japanese. I only used my "common sense." I didn't know that many things in this life required a grammar book. I couldn't be bothered, so I never studied Japanese in earnest. I studied English, German, and French hard, but I thought I could understand Japanese without studying it. I didn't even have a Japanese dictionary.<br><br>I didn't study at all after I made the promise, but I thought I could take the test anytime. I was so confident. I thought I didn't need to study Japanese. Japanese is my native language, so I can understand it without studying it. It's just a grammar rule. I don't think I need to study it for the test.<br><br>I took the test last month, and I failed miserably. I was at the level of a high school student! And I was 45 years old! I was ashamed. I wished I had never promised to take the test. What would my wife think of me now? I didn't want to hear her scolding me again.<br><br>I studied Japanese every day for the past month before taking the test again. I studied about particles, passive voice, honorific language, and ways to show respect. I studied very hard. I took the test yesterday for the second time, and I passed! I was so happy. I wanted to show my test results to everyone.<br><br>I'm still ashamed that I had to take two tests, but I'm glad I made that promise. I had my "common sense," but learning Japanese helped me to understand the logic of Japanese and the differences between the four languages I speak. I'm still ashamed that my Japanese was worse than a high school student, but I'm glad I could catch up.<br><br>What a waste my pride was.