"You are doing better than you think you are" is one of the worst advice out there

I've heard this line in “motivational speeches” and similar nonsense. It’s used in the context of, “you may think you’re not doing great but you’re doing better than you think you are.” No… just no. This is a terrible thing to say, people who are struggling with depression often will think they’re doing better than they actually are and saying things like this will only make them realize how bad their life actually is in the long run. <br><br>There’s this line from a show that said “You as a person, are secrets and lies to yourself. You hide from yourself how bad your life is. You constantly seek to escape. You have built this whole world to avoid seeing yourself and your surroundings for what it is. “ I think that line is very fitting to this. <br><br>When you tell someone with depression, “you are doing better than you think you are” you are basically saying, “Hey, you’re actually doing worse than you thought you were but it’s still not that bad” which is just bad on so many levels. <br><br>Someone with depression will see themselves as doing better than they are and their life as being better than it is. When they finally start realizing how bad things are, they will be hit with a reality that they are NOT doing better than they thought, they were just deluding themselves. The reality is actually WORSE than what they thought. <br><br>Imagine, someone who is working their ass off to barely pay rent and still managing to put some food in their belly. They think they’re doing okay. They’re working hard, perhaps they think they are doing better than they thought they’d be doing given the circumstances. Then they take stock of their life. They work 12 hour shifts, 5 days a week. <br><br>They don’t have time for friends, they’ve already lost some because they don’t have time for them. They make no extra money, it all goes to bills and food. <br><br>They have zero savings, maybe even debt. Imagine someone like that. They think they’re doing okay, they’re actually doing better than they thought they’d be. They’re not starving, they’re not homeless and they still manage to work their ass off while barely having any spare time to spend with family and friends. <br><br>Then this person takes stock of their life and sees how bad it actually is. This is a very realistic example for many, many people. And when someone with depression finally realizes how bad their life actually is, someone saying, “You are doing better than you think you are” is just one of the worst possible things you could say to someone.