I am not proud to be a lesbian.

I don’t feel proud to be a lesbian. The Community does nothing for me. The lesbian chambers are full of men and京 men and lesbians who are basically the same. I don’t see the point of pride. It doesn’t matter that I’m a lesbian. What I do matters. And I do nothing. <br><br>I want to be single my whole life but I know that I have to be part of society. I want to live in the country and be a hermit but that isn’t an option. I have to keep my sexuality a secret because of my parents. They don’t get it. They think they do and that I’m stupid for saying I’m a lesbian. They think I’m just relating to some people more than others, that I’m bi or pan. They say that no one is 100% gay or straight and that they know me better than I know myself. They know nothing about me but that doesn’t matter. I’m inferior. I do not get to decide my own life. I do not get to decide my own sexuality. I do not get to say who I love.<br><br>I am nothing. No one cares about lesbians. Every lesbian I see is fetishized, sexualized, or made fun of. We are not anyone’s concern. And I am just a lesbian. I don’t matter. I am just another lesbian. I’m just like every other lesbian. But there is no one like me. There is only me. But there is no one who cares about me and my feelings. I’m nothing. <br><br>I was at a bar once and was asked if I had a Passport. I was with a girlfriend. I’m American. I'm underage also. But I don’t drink. I was looking at my daughter and saw a bunch of men staring at me. They were looking at me too. I didn’t understand why they would look at me.<br><br>They asked me if I was with my girlfriend and I said yes. I was an adult. I’m a lesbian. But I don’t have to say that I’m a lesbian. I’m already a lesbian. My sexuality will not change but people will always ask me if I’m gay. They always ask and always know. It’s no surprise but it makes it look like it’s a surprise. But I’m an adult. I can handle myself. I know what to say.<br><br>But I don’t always know what to say. I don’t always know what to do. Sometimes I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes I get scared. Sometimes I get confused. Sometimes I don’t know anything.<br><br>I had to go to the bathroom so I went. I didn’t say anything. I just got up. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I didn’t pay attention to anything. I didn’t look at anything. I walked and walked until I was alone. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw me. I saw a lesbian. I saw me.<br><br>But I’m not the only lesbian. There are other lesbians. Lots of lesbians. But am I? I’m nothing. I don’t matter. I don’t know anything. I am a lesbian. So what. I don’t want to be a lesbian. I want to be myself. I want to be nothing. I want to be the most interesting person in the world. But I can’t. I’m an adult. I had to be an adult. My dad said I have to grow up. My dad said I need to put my childhood behind me. My dad said that I am stupid. My dad said I need to stop acting like a kid. My dad said I need to stop acting like a child. My dad said I need to stop acting. My dad said I need to stop everything.<br><br>So I stopped. I stopped doing everything. I stopped doing anything. I stopped doing nothing. I did nothing. I am nothing. I’m a lesbian and I’m nothing. I do nothing. I am nothing. I don’t matter. I don’t care. I don’t know anything.<br><br>And I don’t know anything. I don’t know anything. I’m stupid. I’m dumb. I’m not smart. I’m not anything. I’m nothing. I don’t know anything. I am nothing. I’m a lesbian but I’m nothing.<br><br>I like to see people get beat up. I like to see people get hurt. I want to see bloody humans. I want to see people suffer. I want to see people cry. I want to see people scream. I want and I am happy. I am happy when I see people hurt. I am happy. I am happier. I am really happy. I am the happiest. I am the most happy. I’m happier than everyone. I’m the happiest person in the world. I am happy. I am happier. I am happier than everyone. I am the happiest. I am happy. I am happy.<br><br>I am happy when I’m alone. I’m not happy when I’m with other people no matter how I met them. I’m not happy unless I’m alone. I’m not happy unless I’m by myself. I’m not happy unless I’m me. I’m happy when I’m alone. I’m happy when I’m with myself. I’m happy when I’m by myself. I’m happy when I’m not with anyone.<br><br>I’m not happy when I’m with my family. I’m not happy when I’m with my friends. I’m not happy when I’m with anyone. I’m only happy when I’m alone. I’m only happy when I’m with myself. I’m only happy when I’m lonely. I’m lonely and I’m happy.<br><br>I’m lonely and I’m happy. I’m so happy. I’m so lonely. I’m so happy and I’m so lonely. I’m happier than everyone. I’m happier than everyone. I’m the happiest. I’m the loneliest. I’m so happy and I’m so lonely. I’m so happy. I’m so lonely.<br><br>I’m so lonely. I’m so happy. I’m the happiest. I’m the loneliest. I’m the happiest. I’m the loneliest. I’m so happy. I’m so lonely. I’m so lonely. I’m so happy. I’m so lonely. I’m so happy.<br><br>I’m a lesbian and I’m lonely. I’m a lesbian and I’m happy. I’m a lesbian and I’m the happiest. I’m a lesbian and I’m the loneliest. I am lonely. I am happy. I am a lesbian. I am happy. I am lonely. I am a lesbian. I am the happiest. I am the loneliest. I am a lesbian. I am lonely. I am happy. I am a lesbian. I am the loneliest. I am the happiest. I am happy. I am a lesbian. I am lonely.<br><br>I’m a lesbian and I’m happy. I’m a lesbian and I’m lonely. I’m a lesbian and I’m the happiest. I’m a lesbian and I’m the loneliest. I’m a lesbian and I’m me. I’m a lesbian.