Anyone else here a 40+ year old addict?

I'm a 43 year old addict. i have 2 kids and a wife. I work a great job. I'm a functioning addict. I'm also a heroin addict. I've been sober for 3 years before, i relapse a lot. I can go a year or more without touching anything. I've spent the last 2 days high as fuck on heroin. I'm not really sure who to talk to, bc I'm afraid my wife will leave me and I'll lose my kids.<br><br>I'm in therapy, but she doesn't seem to really get it. I've talked about blacking out and doing things I don't remember. I've talked about having dysentery because I'm shooting up with dirty needles. I've talked about all the different drugs I've done. I went to a few days of rehab when I was 28, but stopped bc all the kids made me feel old. None of this seems to really register with my therapist. <br><br>I've thought about AA, but I don't drink much, i just do heroin. I can go a week or more without drinking. I've been to NA meetings where everyone is sober from meth or prescription pills. NO heroin users go to those meetings bc they are always high. <br><br>I don't know if i should just keep going to therapy in the hopes that one day my therapist will get it, or if i should really start going to AA/NA meetings, or if i should just take a class to learn how to use clean needles, or if i should just go full tilt and hit rock bottom bc maybe that will help me get clean. <br><br>I feel like a failure and a piece of shit. I know i have a problem. I want to stop so bad, but i'm so scared. <br><br>Can anyone recommend anything?<br><br>I'm a complete failure. Please help me.