I’m a 32 year old with a family to feed and I’m very close to giving up. I’ve spent the last 2+ years attempting to learn how to code. I’ve tried a multitude of different methods. I’m going to list below. I feel defeated and like the only option I have now is to tell my wife I’ve failed.

I’ve done the following: <br><br>Codecademy (html/css/js/python)<br>FreeCodeCamp (got to the first project in React - it’s just so goddamn hard I’ve failed like 50 times already)<br>Udemy courses (I pay for them and never end up completing them - seems like a waste of money and just makes me feel guilty)<br>Coding books (Head First: Programming, Clean Code, Code Complete, etc)<br>Open Classrooms (this one I completed the Python certification, but it was a strange feeling as if I somehow tricked the system into making me finish — I have a tendency to do this…ask me later about it)<br>Spent 10 months using Pluralsight and I made a lot of progress, I got somewhat proficient in Python and even built a few projects that I’ve used in real life, but I just couldn’t seem to get into web development no matter what I did. Also, felt like I was getting close to just being okay at one thing. I still can’t write a simple web app to save my life. <br>Spent 3 months using OneMonth (they have a “learn to code in a month” program…that’s a lie btw) <br>Spent 3 months using DataCamp (this is my most recent failure…not because I’m stupid, but because after 2+ years of goddamn hard work, I’m just tired. I’ve fallen into a depression) <br>I’ve joined hackathons just to get out of my routine and I always end up going home early in defeat. <br>I’ve met with other coders and they just give me more advice. Nothing puts them out, but all of it puts me out. <br>I’ve joined a coding meetup group here in Seattle. Same as above. <br>I’ve asked for help, as you see I’m doing now. I’m asking you for help. I don’t expect this to go anywhere though. I’ve asked before and the advice is always the same. <br>I’ve rewired my brain to be able to solve problems. The first thing I do when I have any kind of problem is think “how would I solve this problem with code?”<br><br><br>I’m done guys, I don’t think I have it in me. I feel like I’m starting to develop imposter syndrome. I don’t feel like I can call myself a coder. I don’t feel like I even know how to code. I feel like it’s slipped my grasp. <br>I’m about to give up. I’ve had people tell me to not give up, to keep going, to persevere, but it’s not that easy. I’ve tried that. I’ve just said to myself “you got this, keep going!” but it’s hard to do that when every door you try leads to a brick wall. I’ve hit a brick wall, guys. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve tried everything. <br>I had one small glimmer of hope about 2 months ago. I got a call from a recruiter. It was the first time in my life anyone had ever called me about a job and I hadn’t applied for it. It was a shock to my system. I was so excited. I told him what he wanted to hear and he set me up with an interview. I studied for 3 days before the interview and I felt confident. I got to the interview and I just felt stupid. I bombed it. I bombed it so badly. I didn’t get the job. I was so defeated and I just felt like a complete idiot. I’ve applied for countless jobs, but I just can’t seem to get hired. I don’t know how to get hired. <br><br>I’ve gone to countless meetups and I’ve met countless people who were “self-taught”. They always say things like “I was in your shoes just a year ago…”. I don’t understand how these people do this. I was in their shoes 2 fucking years ago and I’m still trying to figure this shit out. I’ve spent thousands of dollars and I’ve spent countless hours. I’m just a guy who wants to work with computers. Is that too much to ask? Am I too stupid for that? I’ve been told over and over again it takes years, but these guys are somehow able to do it in a year. I just don’t understand. <br><br>I’m tired and I don’t know what to do. I need direction. I don’t know where to go. I’ve been stuck in this rut for so long and I just want out. <br><br>If you’ve read this far, thank you. If you have advice, please share. <br><br>EDIT: WOW! This completely blew up. I was expecting maybe 1 or 2 replies and this blew up. I appreciate all of the advice. It’s a little overwhelming right now to be honest. I’ll read through all of them and I’ll try again. I’ll do anything to feed and provide for my family. Thank you all so much.