Long time /c/politicalhumor lurker here, but I just witnessed something that made me question everything.

The term "shill" has been used a lot lately in politics, and I've been reading up on it. A shill is essentially someone who is paid to secretly promote a product, idea or person, and it is generally used in a negative connotation. But what I am about to tell you is nothing you've ever imagined.<br><br>Last night, I was at the grocery store and I was picking out my produce. Never have I seen so many godforsaken Facebook shills in my entire life. I literally heard five different people talking loudly about how great Facebook is, and how they "use it every day". I quickly realized that something was up.<br><br>I am not kidding you when I say that there were at least 10 people in the produce section alone, loudly shouting out random facts about Facebook. Things like "Did you know Mark Zuckerberg is a self-made billionaire?" and "Facebook earns a whopping 3.3 billion dollars in revenue each quarter!" filled my ears.<br><br>"Wow," I thought. "There sure are a lot of people talking about Facebook." It wasn't until I heard the 6th person shout out "Did you know you can play games on Facebook?" that I got suspicious. I made eye contact with one of the individuals and I'm positive he was a shill. He looks me dead in the eye and yells "Oh, and you can stream games on Facebook!"<br><br>Some of the things I heard were too scripted to be real. It seemed like a conspiracy. It didn't take long for me to realize that I had stumbled upon something similar to a billionaire Illuminati meeting. It was something I had never imagined I would see in real life.<br><br>The scariest part was they were all in cahoots together, all of them shouting Facebook facts at the top of their lungs. Like, "Did you know that Facebook owns Instagram?" in perfect synchrony. It truly was a frightening sight, and I plan to never go near a Walmart produce section at 10:30PM ever again.