Husband (40) and I (40) are having a difficult and possibly end-of marriage discussion. Help!

My husband and I are both 40 years old. We have known each other for 23 years and have been married for 17 years. We have a daughter (10) and a son (7).<br><br>We've been together since 1999, married since 2001. But our relationship has not been easy. We've both been cheated on, and we've even cheated on each other. We've both been physically abusive to each other. We've been to counseling together and separately. We've already separated multiple times. <br><br>We've had one major separation from 2005-2012. From 2012-2017, we attempted to reconcile and were living together in the same house. In 2017, we decided to separate "for good," sell the house, and live in different parts of the city. <br><br>We've each learned so much in the past six years. We've learned to be better, happier people. After a year of being separated, we started having discussions about whether or not we should get back together. <br><br>We got to a point last year where we decided to try it. We moved back into the same house. Six months later, we decided it wasnt working out. We put the house up for sale and planned to move into different houses in the summer. <br><br>But then COVID happened. We decided to stay in the same house, but in different bedrooms. <br><br>It's been six months. We just had a conversation last week where he told me he feels like he doesn't want to try again. He says our arguments have been the same for the past twenty years and he doesn't want to be in a constant state of low-grade-argument.<br><br>I truly, deeply disagree. I feel like its been easier than it has been in a long time. I think we had one major argument in six months, and even that i wouldn't call an argument. <br><br>We also started a business together in 2017. He was the one who was gung-ho on starting a business and wanted me to be involved. I had no interest in starting a business and I don't like the work.<br><br>Last week, he said we should just sell the business and move on with our separate lives. He said we could find a way to co-parent without living in the same house.<br><br>I told him I dont know if I want to do that. He asked if it was because Im in love with him and I said yes. I love him a lot. He told me it doesn't matter if I love him because he isn't in love with me and he wont ever be in love with me again.<br><br>I said what about the kids? Shouldn't we try to be a family for them? Shouldn't we try harder? He said we shouldnt stay together for the kids and that he thought I knew that.<br><br>I said it sounds like hes made up his mind, but I need some time to think about this. He said he thinks we should tell the kids that we will be living in different houses soon. I said no! I cant tell them that until I have a chance to think.<br><br>So thats where we are right now. I know we've had a difficult past. I know we've hurt each other. I know we both have flaws. But something inside of me is stopping me from wanting to give up. I dont know if its the right or wrong decision. I know whaat hes saying has merit. But I dont know if I can give up on our relationship.<br><br>Am I a fool for thinking we have a chance? Am I being too harsh to drag him into years more of marriage that he doesnt want?<br><br>What would you do if you were in my shoes?