After 15 years of my now dead father's abuse, I was born with a very special gift.

I was born on July 10th, 1984, so that means now that I am 39 years old. I have been in therapy for over 20 years, and I am now in a good mental place.<br><br>My parents, Rachel and Christopher, were married in 1963. My birth father is also Rachel's father who I'll never meet. They have a special relationship because of this. Because I'm doing well now, I'm going to speak of this, and not be ashamed.<br><br>Rachel is so kind, and now I'm not afraid or ashamed that I'm her gift from God. I have three male siblings, but they refuse to talk to me still. I'm unsure why. I think it's because of the abuse was so bad, and I'm a female.<br><br>Rachel visited many fertility clinics because of my father's impotence, but now that I'm here, I'm so glad that I was born! I would never trade my life, and I'm now ready to tell my story, and I'm not afraid of who might know.<br><br>My mother's family was very religious much like my mother, so they were against birth control. My mother doing what she could to keep a stable marriage, had to either accept infertility, or risk her husband's sanity. She would do anything to keep a good marriage, even risk her children's health.<br><br>Rachel was very unfortunate because of her difficult pregnancy, it caused her to become handicapped. She was bedridden for the rest of her life, and all of her children were put into foster care. Only I was allowed to stay with her.<br><br>My mother is my whole life, and I would do anything to take care of her. I'm grateful for all her sacrifices, and I'm so glad we are so close. We're inseparable.<br><br>On my father's side of the family, he was raised with a strong sense of family loyalty. His parents were neither abusive nor unloving towards him. However, his father was very little involved in his life, so he grew up in a home with a mother who taught him the importance of family, and a father who he admired. This was very confusing, since his father wasn't much involved in life.<br><br>Christopher was a very quiet boy who never had many friends. He preferred his own company, and was a very shy child. I'm sure it hurts me still, to know that I was so abused in life. But I know he's gone now, and I can finally find peace.<br><br>Rachel was born in 1937, and Christopher in 1935. They grew up in very different times, and their childhoods were very different. Rachel's childhood was fun, but strict. She was taught to love God, and that family should always come first. She was a very good child, and only grew up to be a better person.<br><br>Christopher's childhood was a bit more complex. His father was now dead, and his mother took on both parenting roles. She always wanted a boy, so she was grateful when he was born. She raised him on her own, and he never felt like he was missing anything.<br><br>Christopher always wanted a son. He never wanted a daughter, that's why he was disappointed when I was born. He was ashamed that he had a female child. I'm not sure why.<br><br>After he was angry at my birth, he was angry towards my mother. He abused her, and she had many injuries. She was on life support for one year, and all of her children were separated. I was allowed to stay with my mother because I was so young.<br><br>Rachel never wanted to have any children. She wanted to live life without a husband or kids. She wanted to spend her life in love with God. But she couldn't do that because her father was abusive, and he forced her to marry my father when she was 16. She never knew any man before my father.<br><br>My father would treat my mother very badly. He would call her ugly, fat, and stupid. He would cause her to cry everyday, but she never wanted to leave him. She loves him.<br><br>Rachel lives with me now, and she's grateful that I was born. I think she wishes that my father would have been a better husband to her. But I know she loves him, and will always love him.<br><br>My mother is very beautiful, and I feel so grateful that I was born to this wonderful, selfless, mother.<br><br>Rachel has spent her entire life making sure that I was happy and safe. But she spent all of that time, sacrificing her own happiness, and ignored her own health.<br><br>But I've learned that my mother receives joy from the happiness of her family. She's taught me to always put others before myself.<br><br>I'm happy my father now dead, because it's given me peace. I'm sure my mother feels that too.<br><br>I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure that I can honor my mother, Rachel.<br><br>I'm so grateful that my mother is so kind and loving towards me. My mother never wants that I'm unhappy, and she would do anything to prevent that.<br><br>I'm so glad I got to tell my story.