My husband has squamous cell cancer on his neck and he’s refusing chemo and radiation to save his hair. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t even know how to explain what’s going on. My husband went in for a physical and they found cancer in his lymph nodes that spread to his throat. I was so supportive when they told us, I just want him to live. I want him to be ok. <br><br>He got referred to an oncologist and they laid out the treatment plan - chemo, radiation, physical therapy after. He took it well, seemed calm. I was just so happy he was ok that I didn’t even care that chemo would make all of his hair fall out. <br><br>But about a week after he seemed fine started saying things like “chemo isn’t going to cure my cancer. I can’t do that. Radiation is just going to ruin my skin too. I’m just going to ruin my body for nothing.” <br><br>I tried to remind him that it’s temporary. He doesn’t have to shave his head to be treated. But he just shook his head and left the room. <br><br>I don’t know what the hell to do. I want him to have treatment. I want him to live. I don’t give a fuck about his hair. I don’t give a fuck about his looks. I want him to be safe. I just want him to be ok. <br><br>I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to change his mind. I want him to be ok but I just don’t know how to change his mind. And part of me wants to just let him do what he wants. It’s his body. At the same time, however, I want him to be treated. <br><br>I’m just at a loss. What do I do? How can I make him see that he needs to be treated? He will not listen to me.<br><br>And I love him. I love him more than life itself. I don’t want to lose him. I just want him to be ok. I want him to live. I want him to stay.<br><br>I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make him change his mind.