Can't win on tinder, nor at a date and that really hurts.

A little bit of background: I am an 18 yo girl from Poland who was abused emotionally, phyiscally and sexually. I got 3/4 year long therapy. I'm a student at university. I'm a little bit overweighted, but I have a sport dance practice on a daily basis. I have a job in an office and I'm doing the internship in grocery store for Logistics. One day I will be a supply chain manager.<br>I am pretty addicted to tinder, been using it for the last 6 months. I do have many many matches, I had many one night stands. It just doesn't feel good when someone wants to be with you only for sex. I tried to block the guys like that, but it just doesn't work. It's not nice when hot guy predicts you for another sex toy. I feel so empty after such dates..<br>In the meantime I was going to dates too. But they were always first and last, because as I said, I am ADDICTED TO TINDER, so I was always hoping that there will be someone better, someone who truly likes you, someone who will stay with you and loves you for real. <br>2 weeks ago, I said to myself I will stop dating guys from tinder and delete the app. I didn't want to spend more time on swiping. I wanted to have a little bit more normal life. Meeting people in normal way.<br>It was two weeks ago. This week I was going to 2 dates with 2 guys. 1 guy was from tinder, 2nd was my friend.<br>So I was reaching the "tinder guy" and he wanted to meet me for coffee. I agreed. I told him that I want to meet in a quiet place, so we could talk a little bit. He agreed as well. He told me that he will be 10 minutes late, so I told him not to worry, that I will show up in 10 minutes as well. I got a text, that he was there 20 minutes ago.. so I didn't know what to think and what to believe, because I was home, 20 minutes away from him. I texted him, that I would be there soon. I arrived and he told me that he saw me somewhere around and he didn't want to meet the people he knows. I didn't care, because I didn't know him. So we went to a park. Then to the cafe. Then we said "goodnight" and we went to our homes.<br>Next day, I was going to date with my friend. I was SOOO excited, because I have a crush on him EVERY DAY for the last 2 years. But he didn't want to be with me earlier. He felt uncomfortable with his melt feelings, so he wanted to try. Nice. Of course, that I agreed. I was happy, kinda. We had a little bit longer date and we were talking on a daily basis for the last few days. He was so polite, so nice, so kind. He told me that he wanted to help me with that loneliness. I was so touched, so happy. So I realized that I had crush on him, that I love him so much. We were walking, then went to the cafe. We laughed so loud, I was telling him about my crush... and I wanted to tell him that I love him, and he just said: "I have to tell you something important". I closed my mouth and was waiting. Then he told me that he is not interested in me. I was speechless. He told me, that he was calling the date, because he wanted to "close the topic". Topic? I felt so empty, so lonely. I wanted to cry. I left, he was apologizing, but I didn't even looked at him. I'm sad, because I love him so much, but I don't think that he loves me back. I'm sad, because I was thinking that he will love me, that I will have a little bit of love in my life. But I don't have anyone. I feel so lonely and empty. I don't know what to do. I cried for 2 hours, then I went to my favourite chamber and wrote this post. I will delete tinder again and I will have to live with that unrequited love. I'll probably cry all night. I just feel so lonely..