Men, you’re not special

I’ve brought this up to two guys in the last two days. <br><br>One asked if I would be ok if he cancelled plans to hang out with an old friend who was in town for the day. I said yes, of course. <br><br>I was chatting with another guy, and we discovered a common interest. I mentioned that I’m concerned he might be bored since I’m relatively inexperienced with the subject. <br><br>He said he thinks I’ll be surprised at how many guys will be interested in the topic. My response was, “I’m not looking for just any guy. I’m looking for a guy who’s interested in a topic. Specifically, you.” (Or something to that effect.) <br><br>The response was, “I’ve never had anyone talk to me like that before.” <br><br>I was confused, so I asked, “You’ve never dated a woman before?” <br><br>He said that he has, but he’s never had a woman speak to him like I do. <br><br>I think part of the problem is that men are socialized to be “lone wolves” and therefore don’t expect women to appreciate them or be interested in them. So they don’t behave as if they do. <br><br>But I’ve been a man, and I know that men are just as eager to be appreciated and cared for. <br><br>As a man, I had women tell me all the time how much they appreciated me, how great I was, how lucky they felt to be with me, etc. But they never *acted* like they appreciated me. On the rare occasion that I wanted to do something that wasn’t in my wheelhouse, like go shopping, they would only grudgingly agree and then act annoyed the entire time. <br><br>When I was with a woman, she would always ask me to do things she enjoyed. She would often go out with friends and only invite me along occasionally. <br><br>I now understand that men do not owe women their time or attention. I appreciated that about the guys I was with. They would say yes to doing something I wanted to do, but they would also say no. <br><br>I have now been with three women who were very much like that. It was so refreshing and wonderful. <br><br>But I feel like a lot of men don’t understand that women are individuals, and that they *shouldn’t* be special. <br><br>I only ask men to do things I know they will enjoy, or things I know they want to do. I never make them go out with friends unless they want to. I don’t ask them to help me with things I know they aren’t good at. I don’t expect them to be constantly available. I am considerate of their time and attention. <br><br>I try to make them feel special and appreciated. I do thoughtful gestures and make them thoughtful gifts. I express my appreciation of them frequently. And I reciprocate their gestures. <br><br>You are not entitled to my attention or my time simply because you are a man who is interested in me. You probably won’t even get a second glance.