My whole life has crashed so hard in such a short amount of time

I got kicked out of my flat. <br><br>My girlfriend died a month before our wedding<br><br>I was fired from my job. I fell for the trap of starting a new job with a high salary and I got fired when I couldn’t meet the expectations. I was circling the drain and on edge, I got evicted so I had to sell everything I own to pay for a hotel room and I got canned 2 days ago. <br><br>I spend 99% of my time alone in the crater of a hotel room, I have no money left and I’m expecting to be on the streets soon and that will be that. I’m 35 but when I look in the mirror I see a 50 year old. A cirrhotic, decaying, toothless drunk and no one gives a fuck. I think I’m going to end it all. No one knows I’m in the position I’m in, birthdays and holidays are irrelevant and no one wants to know my life story because I have nothing to offer and no one cares. No one knows my name and when I’m gone no one will ever remember that I existed. <br><br>When I was a child I would day dream of how cool it would be to save the world, to be a hero, to be in a band and have so much fun, to be in a happy marriage, to live an interesting life. But here I am.