My husband used the N word in front of his ex and her new boyfriend. He is devastated

My husband has been in a relationship with me for a few years, but he is actually on his second divorce from his ex wife. They have two kids together, and have been amicable for the sake of their children, even though they do not communicate much. <br><br>Long story short is that the other day I was out with my daughter and my husband texted his ex to set up a time for her to come pick up their kids because she was in the area and it would save him having to drive them over. <br><br>He copied and pasted the address into Google maps and set the pickup time for 6pm. Anyway, last night he gets a call from his ex saying she might be late to pick up the kids. He asks why and she says it's because her and her new boyfriend got held up at a stop light because a "group of young black men with their pants around their waist" were blocking the intersection. <br><br>Long story short is that my husband said "oh, so a group of young N\*\*\*\*s with their pants around their waist?" And she said yes. He says hi, and she immediately hung up and called back and said "do you know who the boyfriend is? He's black." <br><br>She told him that the man she is dating is also a victim of racism from white people and that saying the N word is completely unacceptable and extremely offensive to him and the black community. She also said that her boyfriend is very upset and feels like he can't even be in the same room as my husband at this point. My husband said he didn't even know she was dating a black man, and she told him that has nothing to do with anything and that he shouldn't have said the N word period - but that it was extremely insensitive to do so now that she is dating a black man. <br><br>My husband is absolutely devastated right now. He said he didn't mean any harm by saying it and was simply trying to confirm what she said, and he didn't even know she was dating a black man. He also said he has always been very respectful and never uses the N word in a derogatory way and only uses it in the context of describing something that is going on in the news or something. He said it's just a word and not a big deal. He also said that the fact that the boyfriend feels like he can't be in the same room as him makes no sense because he was just describing the scene that his ex described to him. <br><br>He is so stressed out about this and he doesn't want to offend anyone. He is literally pacing back and forth like a mad man and was even saying he might have to just not pick up the phone when the ex calls because he feels this is really blown out of proportion. <br><br>I posted this on AITA but I figured I'd ask here as well because I don't know if anyone would care about this here. I'm just looking for some feedback, thank you.