Do you ever get the feeling that you are just the puppet of the day, and someone else is pulling all of the strings?

The final straw was a mental break I had a year ago after I tried to pull my life together for years, only to find myself in a deep depression, sleeping away all day in a small apartment, alone and completely broken. It was time for a change. I decided to do something different.<br><br>I quit my job at home and moved to Thailand. For a few months I was ecstatic. I was able to do anything I wanted. I spent my days learning a new language, exploring a new city, and learning how to be a different person. But after a while, I started to feel like I was living in someone else's dream.<br><br>Despite that, for a few months now I have been feeling the same feeling that I had at home. I am just going through the motions. I woke up this morning, walked 10 minutes to a fruit stand, and spent the day sitting on my balcony, smoking cigarettes and staring blankly into space.<br><br>I have tried to do everything I can to change my life for the better. I moved to a completely different country. I take different drugs now. I stay outside as much as possible. I make time to exercise every day. I've done what feels like everything, but nothing seems to make a difference.<br><br>Do you ever feel like your life is not your own? Like your making all the big decisions, but somehow someone else is pulling the strings? Does it ever feel like you're just going through the motions of life without any sense of direction or purpose?<br><br>&#x200B;