AITA for telling my daughter none of her mothers belongings are hers until she learns to share?

I (m43) married my second wife 3 years ago after meeting her the year prior. She has a daughter (f20) who has been living with us since we moved into our house. She has 2 more children (f16, m13) that are my biological children.<br><br>My son has never been happy with having a stepsister, but he tolerates her because he knows I want to keep her comfortable in my home. My daughter is very upset about having a stepsister (she was 13 when Jan moved in) but she is more vocal in her unhappiness, she told me she was upset because she felt like I had abandoned her mom when I got a new family. Of course I don't see my ex much, not even for the kids, but I do my best to reassure my kids that I have their backs and support them in whatever they want.<br><br>Jan and her daughter do not clean up after themselves, ever, no matter how many times I have told them to. Jan's daughter does not even try, she just avoids doing chores entirely and so I have taken her car keys and phone and until she shapes up and does her chores, or gets a job to pay for them. Jan also does not do her chores, instead telling me that as she is my wife, she is expected to be taken care of and I am required to clean up after her. I have explained that I also expect my children to clean up after themselves, but she said that she is not my child and thus has different rules. <br><br>I have also told her that if she expects my treatment of her to be that of a queen, then our roles should be reversed because I did not marry her for her to cleaned after and waited on, but for her to clean after and wait on me. This resulted in a massive fight that lasted until 1:30am and Jan telling me she wants a divorce. She later apologised for her behaviour and begged me to forgive her and said she would do her best to be more considerate of me and my children.<br><br>I said yes because I feel like my daughter is partly to blame for our fights. She has always had an issue with Jan. She told me that Jan was not her mother or her friend and she wouldn't want her as either and she wouldn't try to get along with her. I have spoken to my daughter about being rude to Jan and trying to have a better attitude but she said she would rather die than try to be friends with Jan. <br><br>Jan's daughter is very spoilt. She spends Jan's money without Jan telling her not to and she constantly tells me she wants/needs certain things and expects me to just hand them to her. She has even tried to go into my daughters room and steal her jewelry etc, however my daughter keeps anything valuable locked up. Jan's daughter then normally steals whatever she can and my daughter tells me and I take it off Jan's daughter and tell her she is not allowed in my daughter's room.<br><br>Jan's daughter also brazenly steals food from the fridge. She knows that we buy her food but when she is hungry and my children's food is ready, she just takes it and then complains to Jan that she is hungry and I have not provided for her yet. I have tried explaining to her that I prepare food for my children because they are my children but she says it's not fair and I should treat her as my child as well. I have explained I didn't sign a BC for her and I didn't raise her, so I am not responsible for her.<br><br>She told Jan about me not wanting to be her dad and Jan was very upset. I just reassured her that she is the only woman in my life and I don't care about my daughter. Jan's daughter heard me say this and now she keeps trying to get me to pay her attention. She has tried flirting, touching me, trying to get me alone, walking out in a towel etc. I have told her that it's not acceptable but she just laughs and says she wants to be my daughter and my girlfriend.<br><br>My daughter has told Jan's daughter she will fight her if she tries to get with me and Jan's daughter has told Jan that my daughter threatened her and Jan told her to be careful around my daughter because she is evil. I tried to explain that my daughter was sticking up for me and Jan accused me of pitting the two girls against each other.<br><br>Jan's mother recently passed away and my stepdaughter asked Jan if she can have her grandmothers locket and Jan said yes. However when my daughter saw the locket, she told Jan's daughter she was "barfing a little in her mouth" at the thought of Jan's daughter wearing her grandmothers locket. Jan's daughter screamed and called Jan who told my daughter she had no right to talk to her and my daughter said she did have a right, because she is my daughter and anything Jan inherited, she also inherited as Jan is now a part of my family.<br><br>Jan's daughter then told Jan that my daughter called her a stepdaughter and Jan got mad at me for telling my daughter that Jan's daughter is my stepdaughter. I explained it's just a term I use for her and she isn't actually my stepdaughter but Jan was angry.<br><br>I am angry because my daughter said that anything Jan inherited also goes to my children. Her tone and attitude were also very nasty.