I feel like I’m just a burden to everyone I meet

I had a job interview yesterday that went well and the woman I spoke to seemed very nice and said she was gonna call me today but didn’t. I probably just misinterpreted her but it feels like pretty much everyone I talk to just wants to be rid of me. I had a bunch of text conversations with people from school and at the end of them all it just feels like they don’t want to talk to me anymore because I’m a bore or a burden or something.<br><br>I’ve felt this way my whole life. I had “friends” in school but I always felt like they just tolerated me. It’s a terrible feeling knowing that you aren’t wanted, but you FEEL like you’re a good person. I don’t know though, maybe I’m just not a good person. But I feel so alone and I don’t know what to do. Even with my family it feels like they just want to get away from me as much as possible. I know this is a lonely chamber but it feels like even the people that are just lonely could still go out and find others like them. I’m just so...bitter. I hate that I couldn’t do anything in school and I hate that I could barely get a job and I hate how I’m just an outcast to my whole family and I hate how my life just went straight down the fucking drain. What even is the point in trying anymore. All I want to do is take my telescope outside and sit there and look up at the stars and forget that I’m on Earth and pretend that I’m just a random star floating around in one of the billions of galaxies that exist. I want to pretend that I’m special and that I have a purpose in life. I want to pretend that I’m not a burden to anyone and I want to pretend that there’s a magical place where I can go and people like me can live together and not feel like they’re alone. But that’s not real. I don’t even know what the fuck I am anymore. I am just a forgotten soul in an endless void that was never even supposed to exist. And I hate everyone for it.