I won't let my ten-year-old daughter code until she learns to *sew*, *bake*, or *do laundry*.

Hey there, Internet. I have a daughter who just turned 10. Since turning 5, she has expressed interest in coding, game development, or animation. She also loves sci-fi, YouTube videos, knitting, and playing *Overwatch*. She's already built a computer (3x) and I'm *so proud* of her.<br><br>Over the past year, I've been getting many messages from fellow parents saying I should *totally teach her to code!* or *let her learn C++* or *enroll her in gaming summer camp*. I get unsolicited advice from coders, professors, and even YouTube creators, sharing links, documents, and offering their help pro-bono.<br><br>The truth is, I've spent 20 years in tech and have a passion for coding. I've even written a book on Python for beginners. If I wanted, I could have her coding in no time. But I won't.<br><br>Until she turns 18, my daughter is **not allowed** to code. Here's why:<br><br>**Household responsibilities**. Life requires her to learn how to **sew a button**, **bake a cake**, and **do laundry**. It's not just about being a "housewife" or "stereotypical" female. It's about being **independent** and having the skills to take care of herself. Coding is not a replacement for basic life skills.<br><br>**Pressure on young girls**. Encouraging my daughter to learn to code when she's just 10 years old is **worse than dieting when you're 5'2" and weigh 90 pounds**. "Oh no, I better learn to code so I won't be left behind!" I want her to feel that she can choose to learn anything she wants without the pressure of joining the "next big thing".<br><br>**Girls need a social childhood**. She has a *sleepover* every weekend. They make *fairy wands*, have *dance parties*, and play *Minecraft*. She needs to grow up and thrive in a world that's full of other people, not locked in a bedroom glued to her computer for the next 8 years.<br><br>These days, I have to make sure she doesn't get too much **male attention**. Every time I post about her on social media, I get a bunch of dudes DMing me offering to mentor, teach, or help her out. Young girls don't need older male mentors! They need to be surrounded by positive, supportive women who empower them to *become who they are*. <br><br>**What about those who say, "But girls need to code"?** I know what you mean. I really do. But even though there's a lack of women coders, and even though teaching girls to code is super important... you can't start *there* if you haven't taught her to *be a good person* first. I'm not perfect and I'll make mistakes. I just want her to learn what it means to be a good friend, a good sister, a good person, and then... maybe, maybe learn to code, or be a doctor, or a teacher, or a farmer.<br><br>**I know she'll figure it out**. From age 5 to 10, she went from: \[playing on the computer in the playroom\] to \[building her own PC and playing Fortnite\]. If she wants to learn to code at 18, she will.<br><br>**This is what I want for her**:<br><br>* to be proud of who she is, inside and out<br>* to be kind to others, even if they're not kind to her<br>* to be brave and stand up for herself<br>* to make mistakes, learn from them, and grow as a person<br>* to experience the world as it is: messy, beautiful, and amazing<br><br>The world needs *good people* more than it needs *good programmers*.