[Trigger Warning] Found out that my partner of 3 years was lying to me about their gender identity the whole time.

I (f26) found out a few days ago that my partner for 3 years (f25) was misrepresenting their gender identity. My partner who I will refer to as T since I don’t feel comfortable sharing their name let’s people in our social circle know that they are non-binary. However, T told me a different story when we first got together, they told me that they were assigned female at birth and that they identify as a woman. They let me know that they were only comfortable dating women and they also corrected me when I used they pronouns on them and told me to only use She/Her pronouns. <br><br><br>So, imagine my surprise when I was out with some friends (2 cis men, 1 cis woman, 1 non-binary person) at a bar and T walked in with a mutual friend. We chatted for a bit and T left to go to the bar. Our non-binary friend N went up to the bar and I hear N ask T “what’s your pronouns again? I always forget”. T responds with “they/them”. I honestly didn’t think much of it initially and thought maybe N misheard T’s response but, this was a reoccurring theme that night. T was introducing themselves to people with they/them pronouns and correcting people who used She/Her pronouns on them and telling them they prefer they/them. <br><br><br>T and I have been living together for 6 months so you can imagine how shocked and confused I am. I confronted T a few nights later and they told me that they never told me that they were non-binary because I wouldn’t have been ok with dating a non-binary person. T told me that they were placed in the girls ward when they first came out as trans and that they felt like they didn’t belong and were mistakenly placed there. T said when they were placed in the boys ward they didn’t fit in there either, and they came to the conclusion that they don’t identify with either gender and that they are more comfortable expressing themselves in a more androgynous way. T then told me that they need to live their truth and that I should accept that they are non-binary and respect their pronouns and identity, and if I couldn’t then we would have to go our separate ways. <br><br><br>I don’t even know where to begin, the fact that they lied to me and hid their true gender identity from me for years is the biggest issue for me. Even if I was willing to look past the fact that T misled me and let me believe a completely different narrative, I’m just not sure I’m ready to date a non-binary person. In my mind, I thought I was dating a woman who loved other women, not a non-binary person who also likes women. Like, I’m 26 and I’ve only been with cis gender women. I want to be able to support T, but it’s hard since I feel like T deceived me this whole time. <br><br><br>TLDR: Had no clue that my partner was non-binary and wanted to hide their true identity.